Quote from Dylan Andrews
Allow us to ask you a question: Do you ever wonder why we’re here? Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence? Is there really a god watching everything, with a plan for us? It truly is one of life’s greatest mysteries. The question that keeps many people up at night, and what drives people to do great (or terrible) things. Such is the case for two teams of simulation troopers camped out in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.
Sarge, Grif, Simmons, Donut, and Lopez of the Red Team. Church, Tucker, Caboose and Agent Texas of the Blue Team. These two teams have been at “war” with each other for a long time, but eventually, they came around to working together and even becoming “friends”. But the question still lingered in the back of fans’ minds. Between the two teams, who would actually win? Well, for the second ever Red vs. Blue match, that’s what the folks at Death Battle hope to answer. The battleground that is Blood Gulch will be set to showcase a battle 17 years in the making.
A Heads-Up From Ya Bois
Something to note for this blog is that we will be structuring this blog like our previous team blog Team RWBY vs TMNT in that we will be going over the team as a whole before going into detail about individual members in that team - it worked well before and kept everything concise and clear so we are going to apply it to this blog.
While there is not much to go over. It should be noted we are giving the Reds and Blues stuff they no longer have for the same of completion/not knowing what’s going to be included in their equipment section. Also anything that is non-canon material aka the PSAs won’t be used since they are explicitly stated by the show's creators to be non-canon.
Besides those two things, I think it’s time we start this thing:
Background
Red Team
Super Colonel Sarge
Formerly ranked as Staff Sergeant, Sarge is the leader of the Blood Gulch Red Team with the current rank of Super Colonel. Sarge formerly served in the UNSC as an ODST until he was discharged and reassigned to Project Freelancer. Little is known about his time before Blood Gulch besides he served in the Battle of Broken Ridge as a lieutenant and was demoted to Staff Sergeant prior to his assignment to Blood Gulch. Out of all the soldiers in Blood Gulch, Sarge is the only one who consistently takes the Red vs Blue civil war seriously. He’s also known to really hate his subordinate Grif, willing to put him in any kind of danger that would get him killed.
Dick Simmons
Dick Simmons is known to be the brains of the Red Team. Before joining the military, Simmons was a stereotypical nerd in his youth but suffered abuse from his father because of those traits and therefore lacked a proper father figure. He’s actually one of the few smart characters in Blood Gulch and is arguably one of the most level-headed. Despite sometimes having erratic outbursts and a large ego. However, he’s also known to suck up to his leader Sarge and his constant need of seeking approval from several characters in the series.
When joining the military, Simmons failed to complete a test in time which resulted in him becoming a Red soldier. He was initially a Red Team soldier on Danger Canyon alongside Dexter Grif. But because the two refused to cross a narrow bridge (Simmons refused due to fright), they were assigned to a mission with their drill sergeant Hammers. However, their refusal to enter a base led to Hammers being killed, but the two lied by stating Hammers died a heroic death. This led to the two being relocated to Blood Gulch.
Dexter Grif
“I would just like to let everyone know, that I suck!”
Dexter Grif is arguably the most lazy, irresponsible, arrogant, foul-mouthed, and pessimistic soldier in Blood Gulch. He spends most of his time senselessly talking to and arguing with Simmons as well as enjoying eating and sleeping. Grif is also arguably the most incompetent soldier of both teams, a trait that he acknowledges and takes a twisted sense of pride. Physically, a lifetime of smoking and eating processed snacks (claiming to have a diet consisting of only Oreos) has left Grif in the worst shape for a soldier. Despite all of his horrible traits, Grif does have some skills at driving/piloting vehicles and is usually the one to do so in his team.
Members of Grif’s family include his mother (who’s stated to be playing the roles of a bearded lady and a fat lady in a circus) and Kaikaina Grif (his younger sister who joined the Blue Team after unknowingly choosing the wrong colored armor due to being colorblind). Before joining the military, Grif attended college in Ithaca for a year and frequently ate at Sammie Raphaello's Pizza before dropping out and enlisted in the UNSC. He was initially a Red Team soldier on Danger Canyon alongside Dick Simmons. But because the two refused to cross a narrow bridge (Grif refused due to being lazy), they were assigned to a mission with their drill sergeant Hammers. However, their refusal to enter a base led to Hammers being killed, but the two lied by stating Hammers died a heroic death. This led to the two being relocated to Blood Gulch.
Franklin Delano Donut
“It’s not pink, it’s lightish red!”
Before joining the military, Franklin Delano Donut grew up on a farm in Iowa with a “progressive” home. He is the “rookie” of the Red Team who tends to annoy his teammates with his naïve, garrulous, and cheerful nature. Despite his immaturity, Donut is seen to be quite a skilled soldier, having an excellent arm with the most notable example being "killing" agent Tex with a plasma grenade thrown halfway across Blood Gulch.
Lopez the Heavy
“¿Por qué usted me hace preguntas si usted nunca entiende las respuestas?”
Built by Sarge, Lopez the Heavy is the grumpy and sarcastic robot mechanic of Red Team. Due to Sarge’s incompetence, Lopez is built with a damaged speech unit that only allows him to speak in Spanish. Because of this, no one on both teams can understand him and often misinterpret what he says. Lopez is also one of the few level-headed and rational members of the Blood Gulch soldiers, though he easily becomes irritated by the Reds' antics and their constant misinterpretation of what he is trying to say. His primary objectives are to fix everything, hate the orange one (Grif), and call his mom more often.
Throughout the series, Lopez has been shown to be an efficient mechanic as he was able to build a robot army and a holographic chamber within seconds. Lopez is also shown to be a competent soldier with skills in weaponry and tactics, being able to fend off the Meta with a missile pod launch and rescue Tucker from a Federal Army soldier. Being a robot, Lopez can take serious injuries that would kill any human and live, even being able to still function after being reduced to a head. After transferring himself into Lopez 2.0's body, Lopez has gained the ability to control his body remotely should his head be disconnected once again.
Blue Team
Leonard L. Church
The story of Leonard Church is quite possibly the most complicated story of any of the Reds or Blues. Leonard L. Church is the self-imposed leader of the Blue Team, following the death of their commander Butch Flowers (who in reality was Agent Florida, a freelancer who was from the same program as Texas and Carolina). However, Church has a secret that not even he is aware of. He is, in fact, the Alpha A.I. unit, a once fully self-aware AI that had gone through A.I. Metastability. However, as part of Project Freelancer, the director (who is the real Leonard Church) started to dissect parts of Alpha and take away several of its emotions, turning them into A.I. fragments.
After the loss of its memory unit (which was made into the Epsilon unit), Alpha was taken away by Agent Florida and implanted into a man named Jimmy, possessing him like a ghost. This was done to protect the Alpha unit from being absorbed, or destroyed, by Agent Maine, who had become known as The Meta thanks to his own A.I. unit, Sigma, wishing to become Metastable by reuniting with the other parts of the Alpha unit that had been separated. In order to hide in a place where no one would find it, Alpha was brought to Blood Gulch, and the other members of the Red and Blue teams were specifically picked by the U.N.S.C. and Project Freelancer to help hide it without letting it escape.
Lavernius Tucker
Lavernius Tucker is the perverted second in command of the Blue Team. Not much is known about Tucker’s backstory except after Enlisting in the military he was chosen to be a part of Blue Blood Gulch Team after being given a series of questions by Captain Flowers. Along with Caboose, he would serve as the funny man to Church’s straight man with himself and Caboose often would get under the Blue Team Leader’s nerves. However, the remnants of Project Freelancer would come knocking and Tucker had to face the threats of Wyoming, Omega and even giving birth to an alien baby (as well as some prophecy about aliens). He would later even become a hero to aliens despite Tucker’s flaws
However, slowly but surely these events changed him into the hero that people like Washington always thought he would be. He would eventually train with Washington in hand to hand combat, weapons to become the undisputed best fighter out of all the Reds and Blues by a longshot. However, it wasn’t until the events on Chorus until Tucker became the hero who he truly wanted to be - defending an entire planet against Felix, Locus and Charon Industries and defeating some of the best in the galaxy like Felix. Despite his many flaws, Laverinus Tucker is still a bonafide hero.
Michael J. Caboose
“My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I hate babies!”
Michael J. Caboose is the kind-hearted “rookie” of Blue Team, though he’s also very incompetent. He’s unintelligent and erratic with his unusual behavior, acting very childish and shown with a detachment from reality. Before being assigned to Blood Gulch, Caboose was stationed on a station near the moon where he was supposed to fill the suits of the astronauts who went outside with oxygen but was transferred to Project Freelancer due to not understanding how breathing works in space. Interestingly enough, Caboose wasn't supposed to end up in Blood Gulch and only went there because Butch Flowers (Agent Florida) accidentally corrupted Vic's list.
Despite his lack of intelligence and childlike behavior, Caboose possesses tremendous physical strength when angry or in simple situations. He’s also shown to possess a surprising skill in engineering as demonstrated on numerous occasions such as when he repaired the Epsilon A.I. and placed him into an alien artifact as well as being able to successfully repair his pet war robot, Freckles. Caboose is most notable for always trying to impress Church and help him as well, stating that they are best friends despite the fact Church is constantly annoyed by him. While Church had died multiple times, his final one devastated Caboose. However, Caboose was able to get some closure by making a proper goodbye to his teammate and former leader at the end of Season 15 via a portal to the past.
Agent Texas
“Don’t say goodbye. I hate goodbyes.”
Agent Texas may have the second most complicated backstory of the Reds and Blues behind only Church. Texas was a member of Project Freelancer, a group made by the U.N.S.C. to turn the most talented fighters among their ranks into Super Soldiers through the help of A.I. units. However, Texas wasn’t just any Super Soldier. Turns out that she is actually the Beta fragment of the Alpha A.I., and that the director of Project Freelancer, Leonard Church, actually modeled her personality after his late wife, Allison. Texas is the best of the Freelancer soldiers, second to none (not even the previous best: Agent Carolina). But unlike Church, who was not aware of his being an A.I., Texas is entirely aware (at first, she was unaware, but discovered the truth after breaking into the Freelancer computer system). As a result, she attempted to help Alpha to escape and even gave him his name, Church, in an attempt to help him remember.
This, however, failed, as the Alpha unit failed to remember her, and after seeing the Meta go on his rampage and steal two A.I. units that were housed in Carolina’s suit, Texas went on the run, attempting to keep not only herself safe, but her own A.I., Omega. Soon enough, she managed to intercept a distress signal coming from Blood Gulch, where she became a member of the Blue Team
Equipment
Note: Considering that the Reds and Blues often share weapons between each other - we will be making a shared category though if the weapon is primarily used by one individual, they will be in the character category - for example, other characters have used shotguns in the past but Sarge is the one that uses it the most hence why it will be included in “Sarge”
Sarge
Shotgun:
This is Sarge’s iconic weapon and the one he uses most throughout the series. The reason why is due to Sarge not liking long-ranged weaponry - preferring to go up close and personal. Due to Red vs Blue being based on Halo, the primary shotgun used by Sarge has changed over the other but his current one is the M45D Tactical Shotgun. M45D Tactical Shotgun shots scatter but are also extremely powerful as shown when Sarge shoots at Grif and instantly knocks him over despite him being armored. The main problem is that it has 5 to 6 shots (depending on the game) before reloading which allows enemies a window to disable Sarge (shown with his fight against the Meta). All in all, it is an extremely effective weapon for a soldier like Sarge.
Flamethrower
The Flamethrower is a weapon that fires a stream of liquid fuel that incinerates targets. Sarge used this weapon to incinerate a computer that contained bomb diffusion instructions for a training exercise in which his fellow Red soldier, Clint Buckshot, had to diffuse an IED strapped to a Warthog.
Simmons
Needler
The Type-33 Guided Munitions Launcher or Needler for short is a weapon used by the Covenant and can be used to impale enemies with crystals. In the series, Simmons used it in “the End is Near” by shooting crystals into Felix’s shoulder as well as dual-wielded them in “The End”
Rocket Launcher
This is a weapon commonly used by Simmons (though it also has been used by Church). In the Red vs Blue Series - the older models have heat-seeking meaning they can track their target and fire at them for significant damage (though this fact can be used against Simmons as shown with Reds/Blues vs Tex). Due to being based on the M41 Surface-to-Surface Rocket Medium Anti-Vehicle/Assault Weapon, the Rocket Launcher holds 2 rockets at once and can fire a maximum of 8 to 10 rockets before becoming useless.
Combat Knife
This is a combat weapon commonly used by soldiers in the UNSC Military though the Reds and Blue don’t tend to use it (besides Freelancers like Tex). During Season 15, Simmons used one against Gene (who looks very similar to him) but ultimately Gene was strong enough to hold Simmons back before Grif shot him.
Grif
Brute Shot:
This was Meta's primary weapon before Grif took it and renamed it - “The Grif Shot”. For those who don’t know what the Brute Shot is, it is a Type-25 Grenade Launcher that can fire extremely powerful grenades that can blow up people and vehicles. It can also be used as a shield as shown during the Meta’s fight against Sarge when the Meta blocked Sarge’s Shotgun shells using it or can use the sharp end as a melee weapon.
Suppressor
This weapon was originally used by Carolina but then Grif used it. He kept it for The Suppressor or the Z-130 Directed Energy Automatic Weapon fires bolts of hard-light (alien like-plasma energy) and can hold up to 48 rounds before reloading with a maximum size of 288 rounds.
Methshrooms
After Donut burnt all the rations and food in the fire by accident, Grif discovered a bunch of blue mushrooms. When eating them, Grif gets a great increase in running speed while also making him talk faster.
Cone
A normal cone he found in the Freelancer Offsite Storage Facility and used to protect himself
Donut
The Hammer
Created by one of the Cosmic Powers - Burnstorm in order to contain the God of Time, Chrovos in a prison. Donut can also use it in combat as shown with his fight against Doc/O'Malley in Season 16 - having surprising levels of dexterity with it despite it being an extremely heavy hammer. It is capable of making prisons that can only be broken if enough paradoxes or alternative timelines are created, but is more likely to bind gods such as the Cosmic Powers. It should be noted that Donut no longer has it post Season 17.
Frag Grenades
As the Red Team’s chief grenade thrower (and the one is by far the most skilled at using them due to as he calls in “years of tossing”), In terms of these particular Grenades, they are your standard grenades - being able to create an explosion when thrown - this explosion is strong enough that it can push armoured soldiers off buildings.
Plasma Grenades
These Grenades have the ability to stick to other objects and people (which is a huge pain if you have played any Halo Game). Basically, if they are stuck to you, you are most likely going to die. These Grenades are especially extremely good at taking down tanks and vehicles as shown when Donut threw a plasma grenade halfway across Blood Gulch and stuck to a tank - blowing it up.
Time-Portal Gun
While all the Reds and Blues have used the Time-Portal Gun, Donut is the one who most commonly used it throughout Season 15. It was given to Donut by Chrovus (a being with the ability to control time) and allows him to travel through different points in time through portals (“donut holes”). These portals can take Donut to specific locations (as shown with Donut’s fight against Doc in Season 16) or go to a random location through the shuffle button). But like the Hammer, Donut no longer has this post Season 17.
Forcefield
By punching the ground, Donut can create a pink force field that surrounds up to 9 people or more and powerful enough to block attacks from Kalirama, the queen of the Cosmic Powers and Goddess of Death. However, like the Domed Energy Shield, you can walk through it considering a lamp post fell through it and it’s unknown if Donut has kept it afterwards.
Lopez
M247 General Purpose Machine Gun Turret
The M247 General Purpose Machine Gun (GPMG) is a mounted machine gun turret that Lopez was somehow able to use when he was just a head. The M247 GPMG is chambered for the ubiquitous M118 7.62×51mm FMJ AP cartridge, which uses the 12.7mm high-velocity cartridge. The weapon's mobility allows personnel to quickly establish defensive perimeters or to provide suppressing fire. It has a rate of fire of 600 rounds per minute and an effective range of 1,100 meters.
Missile Pod
The Missile Pod is a missile-launching weapon designed to fire small missiles at a quick fire rate. It has a magazine size of 8 missiles at a semi-automatic rate of fire of 2 missiles per second. Lopez used this weapon to fend off the Meta in order to save Simmons.
Weather Control Device
Lopez’s weather control device is a secret weapon Sarge initially started but couldn’t complete due to being unable to get any D-batteries. When Lopez joined O’Malley, the latter was able to retrieve D-batteries and installed the device inside Lopez. Before the robot’s body was destroyed by a bomb inside Church, the device was shown to be capable of shooting lightning bolts.
Storm Rifles
The T-55 Directed Energy Rifle/Advanced, also known as the Storm Rifle, is the evolution of the standard Plasma Rifle. It includes a modular coil set, a high-mounted cooling shroud, and an extended barrel. The fully automatic weapon unleashes a "storm" of projectiles upon firing - rapid and deadly at close to medium range, but less accurate at longer ranges. However, it overheats within approximately 5 seconds of continual fire.
Church
Sniper Rifle
The SRS99C-S2 AM Sniper Rifle is Church's primary weapon in the series….but he can’t hit the broad side of a barn with it. He has terrible accuracy but occasionally he manages to hit something as shown when he surprisingly hit Freelancer Wyoming in Episode 99 and even the Meta. He also doesn’t know how to activate the zoom of the rifle. While the Sniper Rifle is Church’s primary weapon - other members of the Red vs Blue Team have used it and are quite frankly, much more skilled at using it than him with Tucker being able to kill three Wyoming clones with it. Donut has also shown expressive skill with the weapon - being able to snipe Doc’s Scanner out of his hands. As for the other Blood Gulch Members, they mostly use it for spying and not direct combat.
Monitor
As he first appeared as Epsilon, Church can go inside an ancient artifact known as a monitor. In it, he floats and hovers about, can project a video from one of the events of Halo 3, can shoot a straight laser beam that burns if he gets angry enough and can self-destruct. Though after having a body, he no longer possesses it.
Tucker
The Great Key
The Great Key is Tucker’s most commonly used weapon. Tucker originally believed that the Great Key was simply a cool energy sword but it is actually a key created by aliens that possess the ability to access alien temples allowing them to access anything that is inside these temples. Despite its main purpose being a key - it is still an extremely effective sword, as shown when Tucker was able to cut a giant crate in half that was thrown by Tex. Wielding it has also made him unaffected by time loops and aware that it happened, such as when he was aware of Agent Wyoming’s time distortion. It is also important that no one can activate Tucker’s Great Key unless they kill him.
Designated Marksman Rifle
The M395 Designated Marksman Rifle, commonly known as the DMR, is a UNSC rifle. It is the rifle used by the New Republic as such when Tucker allied with the New Republic - he started using the DMR as his primary weapon on Chorus. It is a semi-automatic rifle that fires 14 rounds before reloading.
Carbine
The Type-51 Carbine, also known as the Covenant Carbi is a weapon used by Tucker in the second half of Season 13. It is a semi-automatic weapon that fires out radioactive projectiles, shot out at supersonic speeds. It has 18 rounds before reloading.
Armor Enhancement - Active Camouflage
Also known as Cloaking and Invisibility. An armor enhancement that cloaks Tucker’s entire armor into the environment, vanishing from most people’s sight. It is damaged though, and would only work for a short time. It’s likely he no longer possesses this as he’s not used it since the beginning of Season 12.
M374 Hephaestus Combat Suit
A modified version of the armor that was formerly used by Agent Maine, mostly known as The Meta. This armor requires a single A.I. to properly control the capabilities of this suit, though using an old A.I. unit like Epsilon would deconstruct himself into fragments and ultimately, sacrifice himself. According to Malcolm Hargrove, the CEO of Charon Industries, this suit contains every single armor enhancement. Besides Active Camouflage which is mentioned above, Tucker gets:
Adaptive Camouflage: Allows the user to change the color of the armor to what they desire. For Tucker, he changed the armor’s color from white to his original armor’s color, aqua.
Motion Tracker: Grants the user thermal vision and the ability to see through buildings and walls.
Hardlight Shields: Allows the wearer to emit a blue shield to deflect bullets.
Healing Unit: Heals any unfortunate people with injuries.
Domed Energy Shield: Allows the user to surround himself with an energy dome along with other people. If anyone fires their gun inside the shield, the bullet will bounce within the forcefield.
Strength Boost: Greatly enhances Tucker’s strength.
Speed Boost: Allows Tucker to greatly enhance his running speed. It can also be used for rapid-punches.
Overshield: Covers the wearer with a shield for protection.
Holographic Projection: Projects a holographic version of the wearer in order to distract or confuse the enemy.
Electromagnetic Pulse: A device that can render technology within its range, either making any technology useless or destroying it.
Grav Boots: Allows the user to release artificial gravity to the soles of the boots to attach to the surfaces.
BioScan: Allows the wearer to check the vitals or injures.
Voice Filter: Uses special filters built into the helmet to disguise the user’s own voice.
Voice Manipulator: Records radio transmission, manipulates them to the user’s wishes and sends it to a person.
Voice Amplifier: Amplify the volume of the user’s voice.
Temporal Distortion: The most effective armor enhancement. There are two ways that have been used, one where the user can outright stop time, or time loop back to a certain point of time and if the user is killed during the loop, the user’s time-displaced copies will be brought to the present.
Unfortunately, after Tucker’s use of it against Charon and Epsilon’s sacrifice, the suit was rendered completely useless, so Tucker no longer possesses it.
Caboose
Assault Rifle
Based on the MA5B Individual Combat Weapon System - the Assault Rifle is the primary weapon used by Caboose in the series. It is an automatic rifle that contains 60 rounds before reloading and a storage capacity of 660 rounds - making it impressive, it is also known for a high rate of fire but low damage. In terms of Caboose's own Assault Rifle - during the events of Fed vs New, Freckles - an AI was moved into the Assault Rifle which allows Caboose to auto-target anyone, nearby him and identify any thermal signatures. It also has a safety lock where the gun will shoot confetti instead of bullets if anyone besides Caboose uses it. In fact, Freckles actually has full control over the safety and even has the ability to shoot even if someone is not holding him. While it’s possible that DB will still include this feature, Caboose did install Freckles into a smaller Mantis body, so Caboose is back in control of the rifle.
Freckles
Freckles was a Mantis-class military assault droid that was activated by Caboose whom he would later take on as a pet. Freckles was originally in a much larger body considering it was an Assault Drone:
Gun Turret: This is Freckles standard weaponry and allows him to accurately hit targets even when they are from a distance (as shown when Caboose played fetch with him and Freckles was able to accurately hit the ball after it has been thrown.
Missile Launcher: Freckles can shoot out missiles strong enough to completely destroy the Red Team’s Warthog
Advance Targeting: This allows Freckles to auto-target enemies and fire without having to aim. This same system can also be used to identify a soldier's rank, affiliation, and level of threat.
Active Camouflage: Freckles has the ability to turn completely camouflage with the background. This is incredibly useful when Caboose/Freckles want to get the jump onto their opponents.
Golf Club
Given by Atlus Arcadium Rex, the leader of the Cosmic Powers, this “weapon” is mostly used for… well golfing. However, it can still be used to fight and it is very effective against a time-traveling asshole voiced by Ricco Fajardo named Genkins- Wait, why does that sound familiar?
Agent Texas
Minigun
Tex is an expert in weaponry and has used multiple weapons throughout Red vs. Blue, but the most notable one is a minigun she used in her battle against Agent Washington and the Meta. Specifically, the M134 Minigun is a 7.62×51mm NATO six-barrel rotary machine gun with a high rate of fire of 2,000 to 6,000 rounds per minute. It has a muzzle velocity of 2,800 feet per second with a maximum firing range of 3,820 feet.
Spiked Grenades
During her battle against an army of Project Freelancer soldiers, she holds a large number of grenades that stick on walls, objects, and even people. Caboose has used it once before but… let’s just say it was one of the worst throws, ever. Of all time.
Explosive Mines
A bunch of explosive devices that she can place anywhere and make them explode with a detonator. She uses them from either an ambush, calling out hidden weapons or destroying an area to gain an advantage.
Jetpack
During her time as a Freelancer Agent, Tex had a jetpack for her to fly through anywhere she wanted and can go perfectly fine in space.
Armor Enhancements
An Armor Enhancement is a special ability that Freelancer Agents have built into their armor, though some of these enhancements are run by an A.I. program. They were created in order to help soldiers best suited in conflict by giving them a unique superhuman ability. In the series of Red vs. Blue, Tex has used various types of armor enhancements.
Strength Boost - Strength Boost is an armor enhancement that grants the user inhuman strength. With this boost in strength, Tex is strong enough to flip over tanks like Sheila.
Voice Filter - The voice filter is an armor enhancement that uses special filters built into the user's helmet in order to disguise their voice, either to protect their identity or in order to trick enemies into lowering their guard. This voice filter, along with the fact that “Tex” is a male name, made everyone in Blood Gulch believe she was a man during the first season.
Active Camouflage - Also known as Cloaking and Invisibility, active camouflage is an armor enhancement that allows the user to use an advanced form of cloaking and vanish into their environment.
Armor
The Reds and Blues are all wearing state of the art biochemical body armor designed to deflect bullets and absorb explosions. Starting from Season 6 and forward, nearly all of the Reds and Blues have upgraded to the superior Mark VI armor while Caboose still wears the Mark V armor. All the Reds and Blues have a radio installed inside their helmets that allows them to communicate with their teammates and V.I.C. from Command. In addition, their helmets each have a camera, a piece of capturing software equipment that possesses the ability to record footage on the battlefield from a soldier's visor and transfer said footage to a local server. The suits are capable of surviving the vacuum of space and can recycle air for extended survivability.
Battle-Rifle
The Battle Rifle is the primary weapon of most characters in Red vs. Blue, with almost every character has been seen wielding it.
Sticky Detonator
The Sticky Detonator is a type of grenade launcher that is in the form of a unique pistol. The detonator fires C-4 grenades that attach to the first thing it comes into contact with.
SMG
The Sub Machine Gun (SMG) is a weapon used by many of the main characters of Red vs. Blue. With the small size of the weapon and the gun lowering technique, the SMG didn't look as threatening as most other weapons other than the Magnum. However, the SMG has a magazine size of 60 rounds and can shoot 15 rounds per second. It cannot jam and uses a processor to help aim up to 74% of accuracy, though overloading the processors will decrease the accuracy of 49%-45%.
Magnum
The Magnum, (M6 series) is a weapon that is commonly used by nearly every character in Red vs. Blue and serves as a "representation” of the characters talking to one another in the series. It is actually most often the secondary weapon of many characters. The Magnum is also a standard issue weapon for Red and Blue armies.
Teleportation Grenades
Also known as Future Cubes, Teleportation Grenades are a type of grenade that have the ability to "store" items in subspace that are caught in its blast radius. Then these items can be released when another grenade is thrown, allowing them to "transport" any item easily. In addition, these cubes can be set at different frequencies which will have different effects on those in their blast radius. Teleportation Cubes can be used to teleport anything in the blast radius to another location in a short amount of time, so long as the proper coordinates are inputted. If people use them to travel, they can suffer side effects such as nausea.
Vehicles
Warthog
The M12 Light Reconnaissance Vehicle is a vehicle used frequently throughout the series mainly by the Red Team. Nicknamed the “warthog” due to Sarge noticing the "tusks" on the front, this vehicle possesses a mounted chain gun with a seemingly unlimited supply of ammunition. In addition, it also plays Tejano (Spanish-Texan) folk music for the Reds to make a cool surprise entrance.
Sheila
Originally named F.I.L.S.S., Sheila is a vehicle-only AI behind the Blue Team's Scorpion tank built by an American automotive company and assembled in Mexico. Blue Team’s tank is a M808V Main Battle Tank. As a tank, her cannon is strong enough to destroy entire vehicles and kill any character with one hit if taken directly. She’s also very durable, being able to take immense damage before becoming inactive. It took an airstrike and a well thrown plasma grenade to stop her. For some reason, the tank has six pedals even though there are only four directions.
Abilities
“Good” Leadership
(Sarge and Simmons)
There have been times when Sarge had his moments of being a good leader. While most of the time he comes up with plans to either protect himself, kill Grif, or involve the construction of a complicated device in favor of one that actually achieves their goals, or all three, Sarge has proven that he’s planning out attacks quite well. He’s been shown multiple times to be able to inspire his team, such as when the Reds and Blues found out that their whole military careers turned out to be fake and Sarge’s speech inspired them to fight Washington and the Meta to save Church and Tex...
Due to having a great deal of skill, compassion, and a high intellect for a simulation trooper, Simmons has shown a great degree of leadership. In Make Your Time, not only did Simmons lead the Reds, but also the Blues as well, and together they briefly defeated O'Malley using the Grunts. In Recreation, he took command of the Red Team in Valhalla and was able to defend against the Meta with no casualties until Washington appeared. Sarge even states that command would've given him his own squad to lead. Simmons, along with some of the remaining Reds and Blues, even took leadership of the young New Republic soldiers.
Skilled Mechanic and Engineer
(Sarge, Lopez and Simmons)
Both Simmons and Sarge have shown that they are pretty good at mechanical and engineering work. Sarge in particular loves to create complicated devices as shown when he created three robotic bodies including Lopez who is able to think and act every much like a normal person (with the only problem being his speech device). He also managed to install a solar/cold fission power source on a jeep in order to fix it - showing how good Sarge’s engineering skills are. Though he has his limits and feels Lopez/Tex are better at him when it comes to engineering. Speaking of which - Lopez is also a skilled engineer and is shown to be the Red’s repairman - having repaired Sheila, the "EMP" Warthog, etc. Simmons due to his intelligence has also shown good engineering and mechanical skills having installed Epsilon onto Carolina’s Mongoose in Season 10.
Highly Intelligent
(Simmons)
Simmons is the brains of the Reds and has repeatedly shown to be the smartest out of all the Reds and Blues. He often puts his intelligence to great work through using his computing skills to hack into computers, control teleporters, etc. He has also shown to be skilled at coming up with battle strategies as shown when he created a plan to escape from Space Pirates by using the ship’s engine to create a smokescreen (Their Escape). With everything in mind - it is indisputable that Simmons is the strategist of the Reds and Blues.
Skilled at using Weaponry
(Sarge, Simmons, Grif)
Despite their flaws, Sarge and Simmons (likely not Grif though) are surprisingly competent soldiers when it comes down to it and surprisingly adept at using weapons. Sarge in particular is pretty good at using shotgun as shown during the fact he was able to take down several Tex Drones at once. He is also shown taking on extremely well-trained soldiers like the Space Pirates. Both of these impressive feats are likely due to his ODST Training. As for Simmons, he could be considered the heavy weapon specialized considering he frequently uses a rocket launcher which he displays pretty good skill shown during the Reds and Blues fight against the Meta/the fight against the Tex Drones. As for Grif… well, he’s Grif so…
In all seriousness, Griff has displayed some good combat skills against the likes of Wyoming and the Tex Drones..which is something.
Skilled Driver:
(Grif)
Despite Grif’s being one of the weakest soldiers in Blood Gulch, there is one thing he is extremely good at (besides being lazy) and that's being a surprisingly good driver. Despite the Reds and Blues tendency to crash planes - Grif has shown quite a bit of skill with driving - being able to accurately drive complex vehicles such as the Hornet in n+1 as well as being the one to pilot Dylan's Pelican in which he dodged multiple missiles that locked on the ship (though the ship was eventually knocked out of the sky by a missile)
Expert Grenadier
(Donut)
Donut will often rely on his grenade skills during combat due to his lack of skill in most other areas Donut is extremely good at grenade throwing as shown when he threw a plasma grenade halfway across Blood Gulch and stuck to a tank - blowing it up.
Extremely Skilled Martial Artist
(Tex)
When it comes to fighting, Tex has been canonically shown to be an unmatched combatant with higher skill than any other Freelancer. This, along with her high success rate in missions and training, allowed her to rank first on the Freelancer leaderboard. During her debut in Project Freelancer, Agent Texas was capable of fighting and defeating York, Wyoming and Maine at the same time in a training match, completely overwhelming them in every round. Tex also displayed her martial arts prowess in various missions and fights later in the series and even defeated Agent Carolina in their first fight. She defeated Grif, Simmons, Sarge and Tucker in a four-on-one fight, repeatedly beating them throughout the fight with every single attempt on their part failing. Her skill in martial arts is further displayed where she took on and was a match for both Washington and the Meta throughout most of their fight.
Skilled at using Weaponry
(Tex)
As the top Freelancer in Project Freelancer, Agent Texas is naturally proficient in all forms of weaponry. She seems to have impressive accuracy with her guns, as she was able to hit and destroy both a Hornet and a Warthog with a blast from her Rocket launcher and take out multiple enemies with an SMG, all of which while riding on a moving motorcycle. During The Blood Gulch Chronicles, she displayed enough skill with grenades to stick Donut right in the head with a plasma grenade. She also displayed enough skill with a Sniper Rifle to knock Lopez's head off of a turret.
Skilled Strategist
(Church and Tucker)
Throughout the series, Tucker has grown to become quite the strategist by executing successful battle plans and strategies. In Season 5, Tucker uses his Sword to outsmart Wyoming, kill several of his clones, save his teammates, and devise a plan with Sheila to stop Gamma. In his return in Recreation, Tucker manages to best C.T. 's men single handedly and get his friends to safety in the process. Tucker even devised a plan to save the Feds and Rebels from killing each other, becoming successful by recording and uploading Felix’s monologue of his role in the civil war for everyone to see.
Church has shown to be a great strategist thanks to his leadership and intelligence. He commonly leads the Blues and has also led the Reds and Blues against O'Malley's final assault. Church also took second-in-command under Agent Washington when the teams were pitted against the Meta. Lastly, he has defeated several enemies thanks to his great deal of logical reasoning.
Skilled Mechanic and Engineer
(Caboose and Tex)
As mentioned before, Caboose has a surprising skill in engineering despite his lack of intelligence. He was able to put Epsilon into an alien artifact all by himself and was successfully able to use the crane controls in the battle against Agent Texas. Along with Simmons, Caboose was able to install Epsilon into Carolina's mongoose in order to spy on her. In addition, Caboose successfully repaired his pet war robot, Freckles, and became its master as a result. It’s possible that Caboose is a kinesthetic learner, being better at learning tasks that are entirely hands-on and requiring more practical knowledge than anything else. Additionally, Caboose might also have a form of savant syndrome, having impressive skills in engineering and athletics but very low levels of independent living skills and other forms of intelligence.
Tex is another member on the Blue Team shown to be able to fix and create machines, demonstrating this skill with her abilities to fix Sheila and creating Andy the bomb from scratch. She helped oversee Sheila’s A.I. be transported from a tank to an airship. Sarge even says she was one of the only people in the canyon with mechanical skills (the other being Lopez).
Impressive Physical Strength
(Caboose and Tex)
As mentioned before, Caboose possesses tremendous physical strength when angry or in simple situations. For instance, Caboose was able to defeat two teams of grunts, was the only person at the time that could lift Andy, and was able to flip a warthog right-side-up. When Epsilon manually enraged him, Caboose simply swept aside a large number of Tex drones just by charging at them and easily overwhelmed them with his raw power. Because of his immense strength, Caboose can be seen as the powerhouse and secret weapon of the Reds and Blues (or just the Blues for this fight).
Tex also possesses immense brute strength on a superhuman level. She’s capable of shattering large boulders with a single punch and busting through solid steel walls with no effort. Tex can also lift objects many times her weight and size, even something as big as Sheila with ease. Her vast power easily surpasses that of even the Meta. Even coming back as Epsilon-Tex, she still retained her superhuman strength.
Highly Intelligent
(Church/Epsilon)
Not only is Church one of the smartest Blood Gulch troopers, but he also has a great deal of logical reasoning. Because of this, he has defeated several enemies and even saved the teams from the bomb detonating in Episode 52. This is most likely due to the fact that he is the Alpha A.I. He still retains his intelligence when he returns as the Epsilon A.I., displaying it during his partnership with Agent Carolina.
AI Possession/Inference
(Church/Epsilon and Tex)
Due to being an A.I., Church has the ability to possess and take control of anyone. After "dying" for the first time in the series, Church first demonstrated this ability by possessing Sarge in order to rescue Tex. He has since then used this ability to learn vital info, sneak into bases, and even go against Omega in Caboose's mind. Being the Alpha, Church has shown to be much more skilled in possession than other A.I.s, as he completely takes over the host in a few seconds. Even when he became Epsilon, Church still retained this ability as it helped the group several times. He possessed a mongoose which allowed him to bond with Carolina, possessed Caboose to unlock his anger, and was able to put the remaining Tex-drones to 'rest' by splitting himself into multiple copies to possess them.
Similar to Church, Agent Tex has shown the ability to invade someone's mind and take control of their body. This stems from her origin of being an A.I., in the same way that Church is. Unlike Church, however, she rarely uses this ability as she has only ever used it on Caboose and Lopez. Despite her infrequent use of this, she seems to be just as proficient as Church, such as when she was able to possess Lopez despite him having grown a resistance. On top of that, she was also able to stop Church from retaking his body after Tex had gained control of it.
Skilled Swordsman
(Tucker)
Ever since Tucker obtained his sword, he has grown to become a skilled swordsman with the weapon. With it, he was able to kill zealots and several Wyoming clones. He later became a remarkable fighter, able to take on a large group of heavily armed soldiers and aliens all by himself and is even strong enough to blow up C.T. 's jeep with a single strike from his sword. However, his main basis in attacking with the sword are “swish, swish, stab.” He’s later shown in the series to be capable of eliminating several Tex drones with his sword. He’s even skilled enough to attack airborne enemies such as trained pilots.
Feats
Overall
Sent Lopez’s head into space for rescue when kidnapped from Blues and Reds (Former Simulation groups that are dressed like the Reds and Blues). (Simmons)
Walked from Italy to England. (Grif)
Captured the Blues’ flag from the start of the series. (Donut)
Killed Agent Texas… until she came back. (Donut)
Precise enough shot to shoot Doc’s plasma pistol out of his hand (Donut)
Somehow made an entire army of himself as a head. (Lopez)
Built a large underground room alone. (Lopez)
Scared off Agent Maine, also known as The Meta. (Lopez)
With his head only, transferred himself onto Lopez 2.0’s body. (Lopez)
Eventually, former mercenary, Locus found his head and went to aid Grif. (Lopez)
Fought against The Meta and even killed him with a distraction. (Sarge, Simmons and Grif)
Held the Freelancer Agent Texas hostage. (Sarge and Lopez)
Became captains of the New Republic. (Simmons and Grif)
Took down an entire army of Wyomings. (Reds)
With the Blues, Carolina and Washington’s help, defeated an entire army of Agent Texas. (Reds)
Fought against Felix with the Blues and eventually killed him. (Reds)
Foiled Malcom Hargrove’s plans, the CEO of Charon Industries. (Reds)
Fought against a wave of space pirates and made it out alive. (Reds)
Stopped the Blues and Reds plan on drilling the Earth’s core and destroying the planet (Reds)
Repaired paradoxes by going back to time caused by the Trickster God, Genkins. (Reds)
Technically won Blood Gulch against the Blues. (Reds)
Strength
Knocked Tex out cold in a single hit. (Sarge)
Climbed to the top of Red Base in Valhalla (Grif)
While on the moon, Donut kicked O'Malley and he flew several meters backwards. (Donut)
Threw a plasma grenade halfway across Blood Gulch. (Donut)
Pushed a jeep together. (Sarge, Simmons and Grif)
Speed
Fast enough to save Simmons and Grif from their execution. (Sarge)
Caught Grif before he fell to his death along with The Meta. (Simmons)
Takes out several Reds and Blues before they even have time to react. (Grif)
This was done with Methshrooms.
Ducked under a Magnum shot from The Meta without noticing he was going to kill him. (Donut)
Likely from WW2 based on the appearance of the plane.
Traveled from Blood Gulch to Valhalla in seconds (Lopez)
And then built a holographic simulation room immediately after
Dodged modified plasma fire. (Sarge and Donut)
Dodged machine gun fire from a Falcon. (Donut and Lopez)
Dodged a shot from a rocket launcher. (Sarge and Grif)
Durability
Tanked an explosion from a bomb stated to be 10 megatons. (Reds)
The “time travel” was something that didn’t happen at all (Scenario 3) and Lopez’s entire body was destroyed by the explosion.
Also, he has no kidneys.
Punched in the chest by the Meta. The Meta is strong enough to lift a Warthog. (Warthogs are 3 metric tons - 3.25 tons) (Sarge)
Picked up by the Meta and is thrown into Grif and Simmons at fast speeds. (Sarge)
Survived being hit by a Whiplash Variant Railgun from Locus. (Sarge)
Survived getting launched off of Red Base in Valhalla. (Grif)
Withstood being crushed by a pelican that sent him into an underground cave. (Donut)
Got hit with a giant hammer and knocked several feet into the air. (Donut)
Survived having his head shot. (Lopez)
Survived falling into a black hole, which sends him at the beginning of time. (Lopez) (Likely an outlier)
Survived being crushed by a giant metallic create. (Sarge, Simmons and Grif)
Tanked a rocket explosion and is launched several feet into the air. Special mention goes to Grif who got his balls crushed by the fall. (Sarge, Simmons and Grif)
Survived a warthog’s self-destruction. (Sarge and Simmons)
Survived being shot by the Needler. (Simmons and Grif)
Overall
Still managed to shoot Caboose’s pinkie toe off from several feet away despite being terrible with a sniper. (Church)
Tricked and knocked out Sarge and Grif alongside Simmons and Donut. (Church)
While inside the monitor, use it to kill C.T., who’s actually the former Leader of Charon Industries. (Church)
Sacrificed himself into little fragments and erased his memories in order to save his teammates and the Reds. (Church)
Was unaffected by Wyoming’s Time Distortion loop and ultimately killed the Freelancer. (Tucker)
Isolated the A.I. Gamma from Sheila behind a firewall. (Tucker)
Found a monitor and uploaded Epsilon, a collection of the Alpha A.I. and the original Church. (Caboose)
Was declared as the true warrior by the alien A.I. who Caboose later named him as Santa. (Caboose)
Broke out of the Labyrinth’s illusion by himself… because he wasn’t hungry. (Caboose)
Top of the Freelancer leaderboard, even above Agent Carolina. (Tex)
Secretly destroyed the Bjørndal Cryogenics Research Facility. (Tex)
Bested Agent York, Maine and Wyoming in a training duel. (Tex)
Was secretly sent by Director Leonard Church on a mission to capture the Sarcophagus and succeed. (Tex)
Captured the blue flag on the Blues and Reds side, while killing Biff (Grif clone). (Tex)
Alongside Carolina, defeated and killed the original C.T. (Tex)
With Agent York’s help, took down several agents of Project Freelancer. (Tex)
Without any weapons, defeated Sarge, Simmons, Grif and Tucker. (Tex)
Fought against Agent Washington and The Meta at the same time for a while. (Tex)
Fought against The Meta with Tucker piercing through his suit. (Tucker and Caboose)
Became captains of the New Republic. (Tucker and Caboose)
Fought against a wave of space pirates and made it out alive. (Tucker and Caboose)
Sent Lopez’s head into space for rescue. (Tucker and Caboose)
Stopped the Blues and Reds plan on drilling the Earth’s core and destroying the planet (Tucker and Caboose)
Repaired paradoxes by going back to time caused by the Trickster God, Genkins. (Tucker and Caboose)
Rescued Agent Texas. (Church, Tucker, and Caboose)
With the Reds, Carolina, and Washington’s help, defeated an entire army of Agent Texas. (Church, Tucker, and Caboose)
Fought against Felix with the Reds and eventually killed him. (Church, Tucker and Caboose)
Foiled Malcolm Hargrove’s plans, the CEO of Charon Industries. (Church, Tucker, and Caboose)
Took down an entire army of Wyomings. (Blues)
Strength
Launched a Red Zealot with a swing from the Great Key. (Tucker)
Strong enough to stab through the Meta’s armor with the Great Key. (Tucker)
Killed three soldiers with one hit each. (Caboose)
Strong enough to carry a bomb that even Tex couldn’t lift. (Caboose)
Flipped over a jeep. (Caboose)
Tackled through an army of Agent Tex robots, knocking them away in the process. (Caboose)
Send a Red Zealot flying like a pinball by whacking him with Genkin’s golf club. (Caboose)
Smashed Agent Wyoming’s head into a stone column with enough force to nearly break it. (Tex)
Strong enough to lift an M808B Battle Tank up and flip it over. (the tank is 66 metric tons) (Tex)
Ripped Church’s friend’s skull out and beat the shit out of him with it. (Tex)
Can launch people like The Meta, who can use his weight to smash a warthog. (Tex)
Crumpled and knocked away a thick metal door with just her fists. (Tex)
Tackled Sarge and Grif through two steel walls and tossed them into a tower of barrels. (Tex)
Lifted and threw a tank into the air with gravity disabled. (Tex)
Punched Carolina hard enough to break through thick steel doors. (Tex)
Threw an axe hard enough to slam CT into a wall and fatally wound her. (Tex)
During her fight with Agent Carolina, cracked glass designed to separate the bridge of a ship from space and survive re-entry into the atmosphere. (Tex)
Speed
Got out of the path of a speeding jeep, which has a maximum acceleration of 78 miles per hour. (Church)
With the monitor, can shoot a laser beam that is straight and can burn upon contact. (Church)
No one from either Red or Blue had been shown dodging it.
As Epsilon, can see everywhere around him move very, very slowly. (Church)
Ran through a complicated obstacle course in seconds. (Caboose)
Ducked under a plasma grenade being thrown from behind. (Tex)
Closed the distance between her and Sarge before he can shoot, (Tex)
Shot Wyoming, York, and Maine almost instantly as they left cover. (Tex)
Evaded chain-gun fire and jumps past the insurrectionist chain gunners. (Tex)
Flipped onto the barrel of a tank and punched back a grenade in less than a second. (Tex)
Evaded turret-fire while speeding down a highway on a motorcycle. (Tex)
Dodged machine gun fire from a Falcon. (Tucker and Caboose)
Durability
Tanked an explosion from a bomb stated to be 10 megatons. (Blues)
The “time travel” was something that didn’t happen (Scenario 3) and Lopez’s entire body was destroyed by the explosion.
Got continuously punched in the face by Tex with the monitor. (Church)
Got zapped by a lightning bolt. (Church)
Got clocked by Tex in Sarge’s robot body. (Church)
Got launched halfway across the plain by a grav booster. (Church)
Took a bullet. (Church)
Tanks a tank exploding partially. (Tucker)
Survived being beaten by an alien. (Tucker)
Had his pinkie toe shot off. (Caboose)
Survived a few shots at the back of the head and only said “Ow.” (Caboose)
Got blown sky-high by an explosion and survives without injury. (Caboose)
Withstood a spaceship crash. (Caboose)
Drank gasoline. (Caboose)
Fell down a cliff and was perfectly fine. (Caboose)
Tanked a charge from Maine, which is strong enough to break a concrete pillar in half, and shoot the top half fast enough to break another concrete pillar in half (Tex)
Tanked a point-blank explosion from Meta’s Brute Shot. (Tex)
Continued fighting unhindered after taking a knife through her back and an axe through her chest. (Tex)
Tanked a few turret rounds and an explosion without visible harm. (Tex)
Scales to Agent Washington who survived a Brute Shot Grenades going off near him. (Blues)
Weaknesses
On an individual level, the Reds have several problems. Sarge is a complete moron who considers himself a tactical genius, which has led to his team getting put into trouble on multiple occasions, as well as constantly trying to get Grif killed. Simmons is a complete kiss-ass to authority, so even if Sarge comes up with a plan so dumb that it will get them in trouble, Simmons will go along with it no matter what. Grif will attempt to buck at authority, sometimes even if it’s a good idea. He’s also rather lazy, which means he’s likely not as skilled in combat as the others. Donut, despite being a skilled grenadier, can often make questionable decisions, even if he’s liked by members of both teams.
As for Lopez, while he is arguably the most skilled member of the Reds, he also hates pretty much everyone on the Red team due to them not being able to understand him (or in Grif’s case: understanding him, but just pretending not to). This has led to Lopez turning against the Reds, such as when he was helping O’Malley to try and kill both teams
As a team, the Blues may be less abrasive, but each of the members of the team have several problems within themselves. Tucker, when he’s not being a total perv towards any woman he meets, isn’t very good at fighting with the actual guns he uses. Typically, he’s far better with close-ranged weapons, such as the key. Church, as a leader, is an asshole (even Epsilon, who was modeled after him, admits this), to the point that his team will argue with him and not work together well, and Caboose… is an idiot who’s only alive because of literal dumb luck, though he has nearly gotten his teammates killed on multiple occassions (and even got other people he was “allied” with killed as well).
And then we come to Agent Texas, who might have the most devastating weakness of all. As the Beta unit, she is actually a representation of Alpha’s “failure”. This is because she was modeled after Allison, and the director of Project Freelancer was so distraught by Allison’s death on a mission that he could only remember her failures. As a result, she will fail at almost anything she attempts to do, which even led to her various in-canon deaths.
Summary
Red Team
- Sarge
Advantages:
Stronger equipment (though it is close - Reds Equipment is generally more destructive and counter the Blues more than vice versa)
Generally better teamwork
Their vehicle is faster
Are better long ranged fighters
Simmons and Lopez’s smarts in technology might be able to prove helpful if Church and Tex's possession comes into play.
Simmons is the MVP and could come up with a strategy to counter the Blues
Outnumber the Blues 5 to 4 (5 to 3 if you consider Caboose to be The Load)
Disadvantages:
The Reds are physically weaker than Tex, Caboose or Tucker
Tex and Church’s possession abilities would cripple the Reds by turning them against each other
Less combat experience
Less skilled and have less training experience
Have weaker durability feats then Tex or Caboose
Weaker close ranged fighters
Warthog is inferior to Sheila
Blue Team
- Leonard L. Church
Advantages:
Agent Texas… just Agent Texas
Tucker, Caboose, and Tex should be physically stronger than any of the Reds
Tex and Church’s possession abilities would cripple the Reds by turning them against each other and messing up their stronger teamwork
Are far better close range fighters like Caboose, Tucker, and Tex
More skilled and better trained besides Caboose
Have more combat experience due to Tex
Have more higher speed feats due to Agent Texas
Tex and Caboose have shown better durability feats than any of the Reds (with Caboose having survived 10 times the Gravity of Earth and Tex having her body crushed by a tank)
Sheila > Warthog in raw firepower
Disadvantages:
Equipment is slightly weaker than the Reds
Worse Teamwork
Less intelligent due to the lack of Simmons
Warthog could outrun Sheila
Simmons’s smarts and Lopez’s grown resistance could counter Tex/Church taking over his body (he had plans to counter Omega possessing him)
Possession leaves their bodies exposed which the Reds could capitalize on
Verdicts
Malcolm Belmont
Honestly this is an episode i thought they might do eventually (along with a RWBY Battle Royale) and you know what - i am glad it is happening. Let’s just say I am a huge fan of Red vs Blue despite its flaws and problems.
Anyway, in terms of who I think will win this fight...well as people have already said, the Blue Team have a huge leg up going into this fight by virtue of one Agent Texas. Agent Texas has shown the most physically significant feats in the entire show considering she has Lifted and tossed a falling metal crate filled with medical packs which is the most physically impressive feat shown in the show as well as breaking through thick steel doors with ease. It should be noticed that Caboose is even physically stronger than Tex as shown when he was strong enough to carry a bomb that even Tex couldn’t lift.Considering Tex as shown early is strong enough to easily shatter steel doors and send concrete flying with a single punch shows just how impressive Caboose and Tex compared to literally anyone else in the Reds and Blues.
Tex is also by far the fastest of the Reds and Blues, being able to easily evaded chain-gun fire and jump past the insurrectionist chain gunners as well as outrun a heat-seeking rocket. The other members of the blues are no slouches either as they have been shown to machine gun fire from a Falcon. Considering that Caboose,Tucker and Tex have shown instances of bullet dodging - they should at the very least be Supersonic in Speed.
In terms of durability, the Blues have tanked an explosion from a bomb stated to be 10 megatons.(The time travel didn’t happen).That should put the Blues at around City Level in terms of durability (though on the low end of City Level).Both the Reds and Blues should get this durability feat.
Ultimately though the stats are not what’s going to determine this fight or at least they are going to be less important since both the Reds and Blues come from the same franchise and scale to each other (even the top tiers like Tex scale to the Simulation Troopers). Ultimately when it comes to determining who is going to win this fight it’s going to be equipment,intelligence and experience.
In terms of weapon, i would actually say the Reds have a small leg up on the Blues even if it’s pretty small. Generally the Reds rely on more destructive weapons then the Blues. Sarge uses a shotgun which is great for close range damage, Simmons primarily uses a rocket launcher which is great at a distance and can easily take out a soldier in one hit, Grif has the Grif Shot which can knock soldiers several meters back. Comparatively Church has a Sniper Rifle that he never seems to hit anything with, Tucker has a sword which while extremely effective close range is not so good at a distance, Caboose has an auto-aiming assault rifle which while accurate - lacks the punch of a Rocket Launcher or a Shotgun. Though surprisingly i think it’s Donut that really puts the weapon category in the favour of the Reds. Not only is Donut an expert in using several different types of gun but he’s also used a Hammer that can knock foes several feet into the air whilst on the moon as well as the Time Portal Gun. If Donut wanted to - he could use this to separate the Blues and pick them off one by one. So in terms of pure weaponry I think the Reds have a slight edge against the Blues.
On the other hand, in terms of outright equipment that is not destructive - i think the Blues 100% have the Reds beaten. Mostly because unlike the Reds - two members of the Blue have armor enhancements that could be useful in this fight. First of course there is Agent Texas. Her first armour enhancement helps her a lot during this fight - Strength Boost. This allows her to perform Strength Feats that simply wouldn't be possible with any other person who doesn’t use it. Considering she is strong enoto flip over tanks like Sheila she is easily the physically strongest and more than capable of ripping the Reds a new one - as shown when she easily beat Sarge,Simmons,Grif and Tucker with no effort. Besides pure strength there is also her deception abilities - She can easily use Active Camouflage to hide and slowly but surely take out the Reds one by one without even trying. Tucker also has this ability and it makes these two very hard to beat (with both of them sneaking around and taking out the Reds one by one).Finally there may be something that could be considered non-standard but let’s talk about the M374 Hephaestus Combat Suit. While Tucker has never on-screen using these abilities - we do know that they are stored inside the Combat Suit and if given to Tucker. These enhancements heavily increase Tucker’s strength and speed as well as giving him some powerful hax - the Temporal Distortion Unit for example as well as the overshield. To be quite frank - Tucker with this combat suit would be able to take out all the Reds easily by himself though it is debatable if it will be used. Even ignoring the suit - i still think in terms of equipment - the Blues edge out the Reds due to Tex and Tucker’s armour enhancements.
In terms of vehicles, well it’s not even a contest - The Warthog may be useful in terms of travelling and is faster than a tank, it simply doesn’t have the raw firepower and durability of Sheila. If this fight ends up as vehicle vs vehicle there is no doubt in my mind that Shelia would just 100% shred the Warthog to bits and then pick off the Reds one by one.
So in terms of weapons i would say the Reds take a slight edge while the Blues have better equipment and vehicles so it’s close but overall the Blues take it.
In terms of training and experience, well considering Tex is a freelancer and Tucker has been trained by a freelancer - you can very clearly see where this is going. Tex has been shown numerous times to be one of the strongest Freelancers - having matched/beaten the likes of Washington,Tex,Wyoming and Agent Carolina.In terms of pure combat skill really only Carolina comes close to her and even that’s debatable. Tucker while not being nearly as skilled as Tex could be comparable to Agent Washington during his freelancer days. Due to his smarts as well as his training thanks to Washington - he is easily the most well trained of the Simulation Troopers and it’s not really close. But in terms of pure experience besides Tex i feel all the Reds and Blues are fairly equal in terms of the stuff they have gone through and experienced though Tucker does have the most combat feats. So overall in terms of training and experience, the Blues handily take it.
While I could maybe see the Reds taking it due to having the edge in destructive weaponry I think with Tucker and Tex being included - I just don’t see the Reds taking it. Tucker and especially Tex are way better trained compared to the rest of the Simulation Troopers, their Armour Enhancements give them significant advantages over the Red Teams (even without the Meta armour not being included) where they could easily take out the Reds one by one without them even noticing. Tex is also the strongest and fastest out of all the combatants and could probably take out most of the Reds out by herself. With Tucker, it’s going to be very easy for both of them to beat the Reds with minimum casualties. Finally quite simply - Tanks beat Warthogs. While i don’t think it’s a stomp, i feel pretty confident due to their armour enhancement,training,experience and choice of vehicle - the Blues will win out over the Reds.
VampyreNVRmore
(Check out this cool Death Battle soundtrack I co-commissioned from Brandon Yates. Check it out on Brandon’s channel as well.)
Roses are red, and violets are blue. One day we’ll cruise down Blood Gulch Avenue. It’s red against red, and blue against blue. It’s I against I, and me against you. It’s time for another Death Battle featuring the Reds and Blues. Only this time, it’s the actual Reds and Blues participating in Death Battle. Other than the first alternate ending to RvB’s Season 5 finale, we didn’t actually see a serious fight between the Reds and Blues. That’s where Death Battle comes in.
To be honest, when I heard Sarge’s voice in the preview for next time, I immediately assumed that the next fight would’ve been Sarge vs Soldier from Team Fortress 2. Though apparently, people have said it wouldn’t be great to have that fight a few months after Soldier’s VA had passed away. Either way, the next fight isn’t Sarge VS Soldier but Red VS Blue. Anyway, let’s start the verdict.
We won’t be looking at stats for this fight. The combatants on both teams have around the same stats since they all scale to a lot of the same feats. Their highest durability feat is thanking a 10 megaton bomb that was most likely amped to a higher level after getting hit by a weather control device. Since they can all hurt each other, their strength is at level as well. As for speed, they all dodged gunfire, plasma fire, and rockets.
I only say around the same stats because there’s two characters on Blue Team with superior physical stats than Red Team: Caboose and Tex. Caboose is shown to be the physically strongest out of the Blood Gulch soldiers and can tank being in gravity that’s ten times greater than Earth’s. As for Tex, she’s superior to the other soldiers on both teams due to being a freelancer. She single handedly defeated Sarge, Grif, Simmons, and Tucker in one fight and York, Maine, and Wyoming in another. Having a Freelancer on their team already puts Blue Team at a big advantage.
However, I know for a fact that some people will bring up Tex’s being programmed to fail. On the contrary though, that programming only refers to Tex’s personal goals. Her programming doesn’t mean whichever team she’s on will automatically fail or she’ll lose every fight. In fact, she was victorious in a lot of fights throughout her life and succeeded in a lot of missions for Project Freelancer. After all, how else did she get 1st place in the Freelancer Leaderboard?
The members on Red Team are pretty skilled with long ranged weaponry, have better teamwork, and arguably have the better equipment overall. Unfortunately, the majority of Red Team are pretty incompetent. Sarge isn’t the tactical genius he thinks he is, Simmons will go whatever terrible plan Sarge will think up, Grif is lazy, and Donut is Donut. The only person on the Red Team who’s truly competent is Lopez, he won’t be able to carry the team throughout the fight.
Blue Team has more competent members in the forms of Tucker, Church, and Tex. In fact, they only need Tex to defeat the Red Team. Hell, Caboose is a pretty competent fighter when his anger is unlocked, which Church can help with. Tucker himself is the most competent non-Freelancer on both teams thanks to his growth. While Church has terrible aim, he’s pretty intelligent and a good strategist.
Lastly, there’s one big advantage Tex and Church has that’ll seal the win for the Blue Team. Possession. Both Tex and Church are A.I.s, so even if their bodies get destroyed, they’ll still be alive and can just take over someone else’s body. This ability will mess up Red Team’s teamwork and will cause them to turn against one another, making it easier for Blue Team to win.
Overall, I won’t lie and say that this fight didn’t pique my interest. Until the end of Venom VS Crona, I never really thought which team would actually win if things got serious. But hey, I guess everyone will finally find out. Now if only Death Battle has the answer to why we’re really here. In the end, the Reds will be singing the Blues as Blue Team are the true Alpha in RvB.
On a related note, RWBY Volume 8 has already premiered by the time of this blog’s release. Please check out my character analysis blog on the show’s main character, Ruby Rose.
Nano
It’s been a while since my first verdict was Zero vs Mewtwo which wasn't even an official fight and I voted for the losing team but it's whatever I still think Zero wins easily. Sabrewulf vs Jon was cool as fuck Halloween episode and had a lot of blood and guts. Speaking of blood and guts, as you can tell, Berserk is a great anime/manga series, one of my top favourites, Guts and Griffith are my favourite characters and I hope Griffith fights against Akechi if he joins a Death Battle (Which I doubt will happen early, but maybe later).
So, this fight... At first, I was conflicted, with my love for more Red vs Blue in Death Battle yet being another same series fight, but I’m feeling more pumped about it now. But you're not here for me to talk about why RvB is great or my interests, you’re here to see me (and the rest of the people in this blog) talking about which team truly wins between Red vs Blue. And it's pretty interesting to talk and so let’s go.
The Reds win by deleting the Blues GG.
Okay, but for real, before starting, I won't be categorizing the stats like last time I joined the prediction blog and will be like most people and talk about their qualities and flaws of both teams. So starting off with stats. Although the stats are the same, I will still mention them since there is a difference when it comes to strength and speed. While Church may be weaker than the Reds (Excluding maybe Simmons and Grif), his teammates should definitely be stronger due to Tex directly lifting massive crates and tanks, Caboose being more physically stronger than Tex and Tucker being capable of slicing the same crates being thrown at him. Speed is pretty easy as well since Tex canonically blitzed 3/5 the Reds (The 2 being Donut and Lopez) and Church as the Epsilon A.I. sees literally everyone (Including his teammates) as a statue. Durability should be equal since everyone has taken a shitton of crazy punishment.
The Reds and Blues have their share of advantages and disadvantages with their vehicles. The Warthog is faster than Sheila and can chip some damage against her, but Sheila is so much powerful that one shot is enough to take out the Puma easily.
But there are more important factors than vehicles: Their weapons and abilities. The Reds have more weapons than the Blues with 16 weapons compared to 15 for the Blues but quantity doesn't really matter, the quality does. Most of the stuff they have are nearly counters, Donut grenade throwing is impressive, his Time-Portal Gun can BFR his foes to a different point of time, Lopez's Missile Pod has missiles that can overwhelm even Tex and the methshrooms funnily give Grif the speed advantage over the Blues if he uses them. As for the Blues, Church's monitor can shoot a laser that no one can dodge, Tucker and Tex can stall enough if they use their Active Camouflage carefully, Caboose has a literal auto-aim bot that took down four hostiles easily (Albeit the enemies were blinded), Tex can take advantage in mobility via her jetpack, Tex can ambush attack Reds with her mines and finally the Meta's modified armour for Tucker, containing every single armour enhancement, including multiple shields, massive speed boost, holographic projection, EMP (Very effective against the Warthog), healing and the fucking temporal distortion, fucking time hax. There are definitely some drawbacks to the suit like Church or Tex's death having to activate it properly and the aftermath of the suit's usage but it's worth mentioning.
And as for abilities and quirks the teams have. The Reds have the brains with Simmons and Lopez, Grif being an excellent driver, Donut having a good arm for throwing grenades and Sarge, Simmons and to a little extent, Grif being good with their weaponry. And finally, for the Blues, Tex being a skilled martial artist, engineering and weapons expert while being A.I can possess anyone or go into their minds, Caboose with strength above even Tex herself and surprising engineering, Tucker being a strategist and obvious swordsmanship with the Great Key and Church both being highly intelligent and a strategist.
With all the stuff mentioned above, I feel confident the Blues will be taking the win. The Reds may have destructive weapons via the missile pod, grenades and rocket launcher, the faster vehicle equipped with a skilled driver, more members and comparable durability. But I believe the Blues' more useful arsenal via the armour enhancements, Church’s monitor, Caboose’s auto-aim pet, Tex’s mines and Tucker’s combat suit if it’s included., A.I. capabilities in possessing some of the Reds, stronger vehicle, superior strength and speed and Tex just… defeating like 3 members of Reds without using any weapons at all.
It's a shame this wasn't as long as the blog I previously joined and seeing either teams dying is saddening and it doesn’t help that Season 7 has been killing characters I like that aren't Obi-Wan or Todoroki. But hey, it’s definitely worth talking about it since I love the series, but in the end, looks like the Reds will be redder than before with their own blue-d. I apologise for the bad pun.
The Draconic Hero
(This is way more interesting than I thought it would be)
So that’s the last time I let myself get swayed by peer pressure. My gut was telling me Crona and I didn’t listen. That’s the third time now this has happened to me. (sigh) Anyway, Red Vs Blue. Boy howdy do I owe DB for making Meta Vs Carolina or I would have no investment in this episode at all. I binged this show for the first time when that DB came out simply because I love Death Battle.
Huh? Oh, right. The fight. Okay, so it’s like this: The Blues have Tex GG. Like...the last time the Reds, minus Donut and Lopez, fought Tex, it was a slaughter. And they’ve got Tucker, arguably the most competent member of the team.
It’s entirely possible that Lopez could handle Tex briefly and that the Reds would immediately know the threat Tex possesses and move in to deal with her first, but at the end of the day, even if Tex wasn’t here, I would feel comfortable voting for Blue Team. Tucker and Church are arguably more competent as a duo than the entirety of Red Team as a unit. Sure, Simmons has come up with great plans in the past, but that was only when everyone bothered to listen to him in the first place. Most of the time, Sarge goes full LEEROY JENKINS and Grif does...basically nothing unless he’s forced to. He’s like Sans from Undertale in that regard.
And god forbid Church gets seriously hurt (Haha, god forbid and his name is Church. I crack myself up) before he bites it or goes out in a bad way in front of Caboose. The Reds don’t want the business end of an angry Caboose. Nobody does.
People be hatin’ on Grif, but later seasons have shown what he’s capable of when he tries so I would consider him an X-factor going into the fight. Him, Lopez and Donut, since Lopez can actually carry the team--his back must be so...heavy (two drums and a cymbal). And, like Grif, later seasons have shown what Donut can do when he’s not being regulated to comic relief.
And while X-factors certainly help, it still doesn’t come close to justifying a win for the Reds. Tucker is about half of a Freelancer in terms of competency at this point. Caboose, while dumb, is also dumb strong and Freckles is basically aim-hacking. And while Church has...let’s call it “mechanical issues” he’s still going to have an easier time getting Tucker’s cooperation than Simmons getting anyone besides Lopez or Donut to listen to him. And if Church pulls a Heroic Sacrifice to boost Tucker astronomically, the Reds can kiss their shiny asses goodbye. Sure, the victory will come at the cost of the Church, but this is the Death Battle. A victory is a victory, even if it comes 5 seconds before you’d expire, right Might Guy?
The bigger question is who is the fight going to come down to in the climax? Tucker is an obvious pick for Blue Team to be Last Man Standing, but Red Team is a bit more difficult as almost any of them could be justified. Grif, more times often than not, gets a spotlight shined on him and he’s half of “Ever wonder why we’re here”. Donut, again, has shown himself to be worthy of the protagonist spotlight. And Sarge would be a case of classic Red Vs Blue iconography. If you asked me personally, I’d make it Grif, but I feel like the team will go with Sarge probs.
So yeah, at the end of the day, the Blues just have what it takes to win more times often than not. They’ve done it with Wash, Tex has kicked the Reds asses in the past and Tucker is just...well he’s at least a 5 - 7 out of ten on the competency spectrum when the rest of the Reds are, at most, a 3. You could run this battle a thousand times and the Reds will just be left feeling blue. ...I need help.
(UPDATE: I’m not gonna tin hat this, but it’s kind of funny that Blue team is set to win this just how Blue won in the 2020 Election and Ben pretty much made it clear he wasn’t a fan of the Trump administration on Twitter on top of the fact that Sarge’s character is designed like a stereotypical redneck Republican that “doesn’t want the government to take his guns”)
Wolf/Swift/MLDKF
Before I begin, I’d just like to say that the past few weeks (as of writing this, which was the beginning of October) have been torturous to me. While trying to work on both this and my video that I was working on, I ended up having to deal with a whole host of issues, such as:
Back pain from an injury I was having
Diarrhea from one of the medications I was taking due to said injury
Constipation
Insane heart rate that made it feel like I was having a heart attack
Stomach problems that were likely caused due to either the acid in the sodas I’m addicted to or a stomach bug
Vomiting due to the “GI Cocktail” I was given at the hospital
Exhaustion from all of that
Headache from everything going on
And that’s just the stuff that I wasn’t dealing with normally. Basically, I’ve been through hell. So I haven’t been able to work on this as much as others, but I think that everyone has had this covered. I’m not sure what else I need to add here.
First of all, the Reds have pretty much nothing that can effectively make them a danger to the entirety of Blue, whereas the opposite isn’t the case. The Reds really only have one actual advantage: sheer dumb luck. Even then, the Blues have that in spades over the Reds. The Red Team is also heavily dysfunctional, and it’s resulted in the Reds getting either themselves or both teams in trouble multiple times. While they can occasionally work together, their main leader is an idiot. Sure, Church is a jerk to the rest of his team, but their individual accomplishments (especially Caboose’s, ironically enough) means that even if they don’t work together, they can usually come out on top.
Originally, I hadn’t seen all of Red vs. Blue, having stopped at Season 14. But I was able to catch-up later on. I wasn’t sure if the Reds really had anything that I wasn’t thinking of, but that if there was something, we would’ve brought it up. Now, I can say for certain that they don’t. The teams work a lot better together as a whole unit of The Blood Gulch Crew rather than splitting them between Red and Blue, as evidenced by things like working to stop Genkins’ time meddling and stopping the Desert Gulch crew. Maybe the one thing the Reds might have is Lopez surviving a Black Hole, but that seems like an outlier, as he’s never shown anything anywhere close to that in the past, and the Black Hole itself was believed by Grif to possibly be a portal back to the beginning of time itself. This does mean that Lopez has “Type-1 Immortality” and doesn’t really need a fuel source, but that won’t help him out much. But yeah, splitting up the Blood Gulch crew like this...yeah, no, the Reds have nothing on the Blues. I don’t really have the desire to make a pun for this one. So...yeah, my vote goes to Blue Team
(Jedi Bender)
(Freakazoid Is Coming Back after 22 Years to be in a Crossover With TTG This Saturday but with the OG Voice Cast and Writer! “HELOOO DUTY I'M HERE!” )
Well it’s been a long time since we’ve had a RVB fight and a lot has changed since Then. However this time feels appropriate with the release of ZERO.
(Which is out as of now and it’s definitely a better viewing experience then RWBY Vol 8’s first episode I’m so fucking hyped to see where it goes in these few weeks)
So this past month I've been thinking hard about which of my favorite colors/Teams can take this W and after all the research It looks like Blue team will be the victors
Everything just falls into Team Blues hands. They have much better Skill, Tactical Ingenuity, and weaponry fitted for Close Range.Team Red are decent fighters in their own right. But when all is said and done their Plans just amount to dumb luck or ignorance on Sarges part. Sure Simmons is definitely the smallest of the bunch ( Hell arguably of both teams) however rarely does he abandon kissing Sarges ass. Girf is just a lazy bastard who has skill but it’s not enough in a fight against Blue team. Donut can throw good and has a Force Field nothing else really impressive to be a threat and Lopez IS their best chance of winning in certain situations however due to him being easily destroyed and taken over via possession he’ll most likely be taking out
Now most will bring up how Sarge took out TEX with one punch or how Donut killed her or how it’s in her programming to fail.
1: That was completely unexpected as she didn’t see it coming and Sarge only did it once meaning there’s no way he be able to do it with her guard up
So this can be Counted as a outlier
2: again this death was completely unexpected and done for Comedic purposes to show Donut being a badass
(also No him doing it against the Tex robots doesn’t mean he could put the real one down in a one on one )
And 3: This is extremely personal and not meant to be taken advantage of in combat as such there’s no reason to believe Simmsons or Sarge can use it against her plus after the Preview Analysis of Team Blue it looks DB won’t do it either.
So don’t misunderstand Team Red aren’t weak or able to push The Blues/Tex on Their backfoots obviously they’ve done so before in the past, however all of em combined just aren’t on the wavelengths or levels compared to our other protagonists but damn it if Team Red won’t give this fight their all in the end. I wouldn’t be surprised if Church, Tucker, and Caboose are the last ones standing.
Unfortunately in the end:
“Roses were Red
Violets are still Blue looks like Team Caboose got the best of you”
SoMaShadow
(I feel about as tired as Medusa looks)
Okay, so, this prediction is going to be a bit shorter compared to my last one on Venom vs Crona, mostly due to my lack of knowledge and experience with RvB as a whole. I’ve seen Carolina vs The Meta, and I know a bit about Tex from some personal research into her, but I know a lot less about the actual Red and Blue teams than I do the Freelancers, so I’ll do my best, but it won’t be as detailed as some of the other predictions on this blog.
Venom vs Crona, hoo boy… Well, I went against my gut feeling and voted for Venom (so unbelievably happy that Crona took it, though), and since Cates was mostly used for history, and not for feats, I get to finally have a character I was rooting for, win, this season. The episode had good references, and I’m happy with it overall. Was kinda hoping for Jon Talbain vs Sabrewulf to be the next time, or Soldier vs Sarge once I heard his voice, so I’m kinda disappointed, but at least it isn’t another comic book matchup.
As for the current episode, I’ve seen Season 1 of Red vs. Blue, and Meta vs Carolina (which was in Season 14 iirc), so my knowledge will be coming from the info above. And based on that, I’d say that the Blue team should take it.
But I’m not that sure. This episode is giving off a lot of strange vibes, so it might be a joke episode, or one that was already meant to be a tie, or not be taken as a real fight, or something like that, and if that’s the case, then a draw is alright. Not like many people were interested in it anyway. I mean, look at the number of people on this blog compared to Wally vs Sonic or Venom vs Crona.
But, as for why I think the Blue team should take it. Well, simply put, Shiela and Agent Texas. Tex is more than capable of kinda taking them all out on her own, and she’s proven superior to Carolina, who is really impressive in her own right. And Shiela is a fucking tank. A tank which killed Church in Season 1, already having a kill under her belt (and probably many more, but I haven’t seen the series fully, so idk), and the Warthog (Puma) isn’t much when compared to it. The Reds have better teamwork, intelligence, and long-range capabilities, but Sarge is an up-close and personal kind of guy, so his preferred style of combat already goes against their advantage. And, well, Shiela is also super long ranged herself, so that edge might as well be minimal. Also, they’re all kind of idiots (barring Tex), and even though Tex is based upon failure, and will fail at whatever she tries to do if the situation is dire enough, the Blues just need her to do enough significant damage so that they can finish off the Reds once Tex goes down, and with Shiela, and Caboose’s absurd strength, they might just be able to do that.
Granted, this is a really close battle, and I’m not the most well-informed here, so yeah, this was pretty short on my end, but I think it came out well enough. The Blue team just has the superior firepower, wo-manpower (because Tex is going to carry them, let’s be real), stat advantage, skill, experience, and a goddamn tank. Plus, if Church or Tex go down, they could possess other members of the Red Team, turning them against each other, and though Lopez has defences against this, the others do not. So unless this is a joke battle, or ends in a tie, then the Blue team should reasonably take this. Going up against Tex, Church, Tucker and Caboose really Blue their chances of victory.
If the Reds win this, their line has to be something like “leaving them Black and Blue”. Come on DB, don’t miss such a good line, please.
RJ(Roger)
So, my first Verdict for a Death Battle Prediction blog. This is actually kind of exciting and a little scary, which might be why I wanted to do it with this match up above say Venom vs Crona. Which if I’m being honest I am stunned that the last Death Battle somehow became a toxic wasteland that rival’s the swamp’s of Florida. Like the fact it became that bad due to a Comic Run this recent and the debate of will they and won’t they was still a shock to me.
As for this fight, the true Red vs Blue conflict that people have been asking for years to see, it’s actually kind of hard to think about who would win and who will lose when you think about it cause on the one hand: The Blue’s are basically badasses in their own right with Caboose being a strongman when angered and being someone who can snap most men in two. A super soldier more skilled than most Freelancers and Soldiers who most can’t compare to in terms of raw prowess. A leader who while not always able to get his crew to do what he said usual was the guy to get the two factions together to stop problems that would normally rip them a new hole. Tucker, a non Freelancer who got up to that level of skill and is basically an impressive swords man and their Tank, Shelia.
The Red’s however, are a well oiled if dysfunctional team that has a skilled driver who can utilize their Hog to the best of it’s abilities and out maneuver a lot of folks, a strategist who’s been friends with the Blue’s as long as they have been enemies and can come up with a plan to counter the members, their leader who while gruff and kind of old in his ideals still was able to keep them in line with any plan they had in mind. Hell Donut, one of their own, was able to kill Tex thanks to his impressive throwing arm and has some pretty damn good aim and of course there's Lopez. Lopez is basically a mechanical marvel with how durable he is, how intelligent he is and some of the things he has invented including his own army.
The factor’s for who can win are pretty even out with each team having a good strength to compensate for their weakness. Thou if I had to choose, I might just go to the Blue’s only cause of the fact that when it comes to combat they have more checks in terms of skills over the red’s and that teamwork will be a good factor but I wonder how well it can hold up if the Blue’s are able to take down keep members or if the Red’s can react to a changing battlefield faster then the Blue’s. Doesn’t help that even with the Red’s vast arsenal, could it help if it was turned against them. Like even if Simmons or Lopez can counter it, what if Lopez or Simmons is taken out before they can counter. I see this being close thou and I wouldn’t be shocked if the Red’s won but I am locking in my bet with the Blues.
What? You expecting a pun? Nah man, I ain’t that smart. Now if you excuse me, time to watch a man play Boomer shooters and contemplate is standing in life as he plays a Russian made expansion that hurts his soul more then Red vs Tai hurts the souls of pokemon fans
Time
(Changed up the clock a bit for this one.)
Definitely didn’t see this one coming, but I’m happy it did. I’ve been a fan of Red VS Blue for a good while now and Meta VS Carolina is one of my personal favorite Death Battles, so it’ll be interesting to see how this one goes down.
So, let’s dive into the second Red VS Blue Death Battle…. Red VS Blue. As the first real team VS team DB we’ve seen and 17 seasons of history with these characters, there is a lot to unpack. As we don’t know exactly what both sides will get for this battle, I will include every major tool both teams have gained, temporary and permanent alike.
Let’s start with looking at the general skills of both sides. Both sides are known for not having the most competent of fighters, but consistent strengths arise for each team. From Sarge, Simmons, and Lopez, the Reds are generally better with building machinery as superior mechanics. From Donut, they gain the best grenade thrower in Blood Gulch. Simmons also provides the Reds with a decent strategist who may be able to devise an effective battle plan. However, the Blues have a clear ace in the hole here: Agent Texas. Although she is not unstoppable, her genuine competence in martial arts far outclasses everyone else on both sides combined. Tucker is also notably skilled, particularly using his blade in ways the Reds may struggle to keep up with. With Tucker and Church, the Blues also have their own strategists, who likely surpass Simmons in this field.
Just to quickly address it, stats are almost a total non-factor here. The Reds and Blues alike have fought alongside and against each other so many times the simple fact is they all scale to everyone else, with two minor exceptions. In her fights against them, Tex has performed feats of strength which, in the context of the story, are implied the Reds and Blues were incapable of, such as throwing a massive crate at them. While greater feats than these showings exist for everyone, notably tanking the explosion of a 10 megaton bomb, the reactions of the Reds and Blues still imply she is meant to surpass most of them in strength…. except one. Caboose proved himself stronger by lifting and carrying a bomb Tex herself admitted she could not. Since these feats are lower than the best feat for all of them the degree of which they are stronger is unknown, and definitely not enough for either to be immune to harm from any Reds, but their superiority in strength still stands canonically true.
The real meat of this debate, however, lies in both teams’ arsenals. When given everything notable, both teams have a lot to work with. Notable pieces of equipment from the Reds include Donut’s time-portal gun and hammer, Grif’s brute shot, Lopez’s built-in weather machine, and the Warthog. For the Blues, Tucker possesses the Great Key and armor enhancements, Church and Tex exist as A.I.s, and Sheila exists as a tank. Donut’s hammer, the Grif Shot, and the Great Key are all the best melee weapons on the field, although the Key basically being a lightsaber able to cut through Tex's aforementioned metal crate in one swing makes it clearly the best one here. With the weather machine Lopez had built into his systems temporarily, he could potentially blast lightning all over the Blood Gulch, an attack which exceeds known speed feats for either side, although he lacks any ability to specifically control it, making it a possible danger to both teams. Comparing the Warthog and Sheila is interesting. The former is significantly more mobile, allowing the Reds to transport it effectively across the battlefield, while the latter obviously possesses greater bulk and firepower. Ultimately, the Warthog should provide more advantages here, as Sheila’s greater durability is not enough to save her from essentially being disabled from a single grenade.
The biggest advantage of the Blues, however, lies in the true nature of Church and Tex. Far later in their stories, both are revealed to be A.I. fragments from Project Freelancer inhabiting bodies. Thus, “killing” them is meaningless, as their A.I. consciousnesses simply persist Ultron-style, oftentimes appearing as intangible “ghosts” with the ability to possess others. In Red VS Blue, these A.I. fragments are only ever truly destroyed through EMPs or suicide. This poses the single largest threat to the Reds by far, as Church and Tex can potentially possess any of them, except for Lopez who developed a resistance to it after prolonged exposure to Church inhabiting him, after their artificial bodies fall. Through this, Church and Tex could turn the Reds against each other, potentially taking out members from within and disrupting their group cohesion, while remaining virtually untouchable otherwise.
Not all is lost for the Reds, however. Donut’s time-portal gun exists as a potent BFR tool if used well, and for a season the Reds were able to upgrade their Warthog to mount an EMP cannon. With a single shot from this, they gain the potential to outright kill Tex and Church and remove them from the fight permanently, although firing the EMP forces the Warthog to stop for a few seconds after firing. These weapons give the Reds the power to potentially win, but not infallible methods. The Warthog’s cooldown could allow the Blues to capitalize on its delay to disable it in a variety of ways, and Donut never used the time-portal gun to outright BFR anyone to my knowledge, and that tool could be turned against the Reds via possession.
Ultimately, this battle will likely be lengthy and glorious, but overall the Reds are outclassed. When each Blue brings an advantage over every Red to the table, it puts these scarlet soldiers in a bad place. Caboose is stronger than the Reds, Tucker is more skilled than the Reds, Church is nigh unkillable and can possess the Reds, and Tex is literally all of those advantages in one package. The Reds can put up a good fight, but their options to pull a win are limited. Even if they can remove one A.I. with the EMP Warthog, the other could merely possess the driver and crash the vehicle, or the gunner and shoot the driver. Possession in particular is the bane of the Reds in this fight, since it can turn the soldiers and any equipment they wield against each other, barring Lopez. Even with potential counterplay, that is too large of a hurdle to overcome. Ultimately, I must be Blue, because the Reds are gonna da-ba-dee da-ba-die.
Brobuscus
(I’ve honestly lost track of how many times I’ve listened to this, it’s fantastic.)
Well this is gonna be interesting.
After a delay and 2 spooky episodes, one I love, the other I don’t, we’re finally getting this. Now, I adore Red vs. Blue. It was my introduction to Rooster Teeth as a company, and I’ve stuck around ever since. I genuinely love this show, and I’m so happy it’s getting more spotlight on this show. Now yes, it isn’t Sarge VS Soldier or anything like that, but for some of these characters, it was pretty much the only shot they had at making it in this show, so there is a plus side to this match.
But let’s not waste anymore time. Who would really win? Well, the general consensus seems to be that the Blues absolutely slaughter, and while I can’t say I disagree with them winning, I think the Reds aren’t as screwed as you’d think.
Since they all pretty much scale to the same feats, there’s really no point in arguing stats, so I won’t bother with that. Nah, this comes down to pretty much everything else.
Let’s just go ahead and discuss the main argument for the Blues: Tex. Being the number 1 Freelancer, and having singlehandedly defeated Sarge, Grif, Simmons, and Tucker, you’d think she’d be able to take down the competition on her own, right? Not really. And before you ask, no, I’m not arguing the whole “she’s doomed to fail” thing, since that’s honestly kind of weird to factor in when it comes to a fight. No, what I’m arguing is that she overall really isn’t that much of a gamechanger. First off, to get a bit nitpicky, the Tex that took down the Reds + Tucker was a fragmented part of Epsilon, not the Beta version they’re using for the fight, the same one that got knocked out by Sarge and killed by Donut. But if we are indeed using Epsilon stuff for Tex, you need to remember that Tex has also lost to a enhancement-less Meta, and the Reds managed to kill him when he did have functional enhancements. If that wasn’t enough, the Reds and Blues were also able to take down an entire room full of Tex robots with relative ease, only overwhelmed with how many there were. And after that, they managed to save an entire planet from self-induced extinction when Tex was long gone. All I’m saying is the Reds and Blues have improved quite a lot since Tex mopped the floor with them, and remember, Death Battle looks at the characters at their maximum potential, not a certain point in their timeline.
With Tex out of the way, let’s discuss Church. Now, I love Church, he’s probably my favorite character in this show, but outside of possession, he is borderline useless. He’s a terrible shot, even point blank, and he’s got virtually no hand-to-hand combat experience. While yes, Alpha is a more competent AI than Epsilon, all the cool abilities Epsilon did were stuff Alpha lost the memory of. During seasons 1-6, we don’t see Alpha do much of any of that, and by the time he learned his true past, he had already sacrificed himself. Now I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be real freaking difficult to use abilities if you don’t know you have them. And while yes, I said that these are characters at their max, this is still Alpha Church as we see him throughout that particular run, where his memories are wiped and he thinks he’s a ghost rather than an AI. There’s a difference between compositing different iterations of characters(for example, the Killer Instinct characters) and compositing two different entities altogether(Alpha and Epsilon).
And just to get it out of the way, Sheila is pretty much a non-factor. Yes, she’s a tank, but name me one thing she’s successfully killed besides Church. The most she’s done is scare away the Reds and constantly get damaged to the point of being inoperable. One plasma grenade was enough to put her out of commission, to give an idea.
Now, a big thing that I feel is being overlooked is teamwork. It’s been stated that the reason the Reds and Blues have survived so long against people like the Meta is because of teamwork, and this was also the most important factor in Meta VS Carolina. No matter what they’re up against, the Blues will always find something to bicker about, whether it be their current situation or just calling each other idiots, and technically they don’t have a set leader, Church just stepped up because reasons. And even then, the Blues NEVER follow Church’s instructions, and even if they did, Church has proven that his leadership skills are just as useless as his aim. The Reds, on the other hand, have a set leader, two members that willingly follow said leader, and two others that begrudgingly follow said leader. They’ve shown much better teamwork despite them generally hating each other, and I definitely feel that could be a solid reason for the Reds to take the win.
There are other supporting reasons why the Reds aren’t completely screwed, such as Grif & Donut becoming a lot more competent in later seasons, but most of what I could say is stuff me and some friends mention in a podcast, so go check that out. But one thing we didn’t mention was the Future Cubes(or Teleporter Cubes). These things could allow for solid BFR techniques if given the chance, as shown when they sent Doc to another dimension. And of everyone here, guess who has the most experience and know-how with them? Grif and Donut.
Now again, I’m not entirely saying that the Reds win overall. All things considered, I do see the Blues winning more times than not, given other reasons that the others have already mentioned. I just wanted to lay down some info and possibilities to show that the Reds aren’t completely out of the fight. They definitely have a good shot at victory, and I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if they end up winning. But overall, I am going with Blue Team.
Either way, no matter who wins, I lose, so yayyy.
The fight animation for this DB looks to be hype
ReplyDeleteWhile I am disappointed with the voice acting, the fight itself is truly going to bring back memories. I was introduced to RVB very late, but S6-9 were to me the best moments in the series. Great job with the research into this fight as it is indeed close. I can not wait to see who will finally win at Blood Glutch Ave.
ReplyDeleteCaboose MAY end up being a hinderance as well. Since there is a 99% chance he'll destroy Church's body.
ReplyDeleteThere’s going to be no chance dude
Delete