“The problem of being faster than light is that you can only live in darkness.” - Some kid in a Sonic costume
Nitros Oxide, the parking lot enthusiast from outer space.
Wizpig, the world conquering speedster who crashed Diddy Kong Racing.
Space has always been a huge fascination and/or fear of humanity, as we don’t exactly know who or what is out there, or what to do if beings from beyond the stars were to visit us instead. Today that’s finally put at ease, because all we need to do to defend ourselves is rev up the engines and make them eat our dust. Of course, you’ll have to wait until these two have their own Deep Space Drag Race first.
Before We Start…
When it comes to media used, this one’s pretty straightforward. The original kart racers - as well as any subsequent sequels and remakes - take priority, with any other media such as comics or manga that directly tie into those games also being taken into account. The rest of their respective franchises are considered, but are more case-by-case.
Also since both hail from kart racers with game mechanics that affect their arsenals, we will add a new segment to this blog and this blog only, which details how said mechanics work. We hope you enjoy this addition. Also, both Brobuscus and beelake have some fanart to show.
Fight render by beelake
Renders by Brobuscus
Now fasten your seatbelts, prepare for a turbocharged extravaganza, and brace yourselves for a DEATH BATTLE!
Background
Nitros Oxide
“Get ready to race for the fate of your planet.”
It’s a peaceful day on N. Sanity Island. The tornado marsupial Crash Bandicoot, his tech-savvy sister Coco, and the evil Dr. Neo Cortex are… casually racing in go-karts with each other, y’know as you do. But out of nowhere, their competition is interrupted by an alien transmission from someone who describes themselves as the fastest racer in the galaxy, who came to compete. This was the alien Nitros Oxide!
Not much is known about Oxide’s backstory, only that he hails from the planet Gasmoxia, alongside his cronies Zem and Zam, and he travels the stars looking for creatures to test his skills. In what can only be described as Survival of the Fastest, Oxide challenges the best driver of the planet to a race. If said driver wins, then Oxide leaves with no questions asked. However, if Oxide wins, he turns the entire globe into a concrete parking lot and makes the inhabitants his slaves. And as one would imagine, that’s what Oxide planned to do to Earth.
To prove who was the best racer on the planet, Crash and co. race in 16 intense tracks, and get keys from the likes of the deranged Ripper Roo, the stereotypical Papu Papu, the deadly Komodo Joe, and the sharpshooting Pinstripe Potoroo. Whoever gains twelve trophies and four keys earns the right to race Oxide. Unfortunately for the Gasmoxian, Earth’s champion manages to win the race for the planet, and Oxide keeps his word and leaves.
But this wouldn’t be the last we see of the green four-legged racer. He’d return in the presence of Emperor Velo XXVII to tell him of Earth’s racing potential in the hopes of getting his revenge. On another occasion, he’d be recruited by Dr. Nefarious Tropy and his female alternate universe counterpart in their quest to erase space and time to rebuild it to their liking. Regardless, Nitros Oxide is a speed freak who you don’t want to cross paths with.
Wizpig
It’s just a normal day on Donkey Kong Island. The spider monkey Diddy Kong is relaxing in his treehouse and enjoying life, only to receive a random letter from a carrier pigeon. The letter simply reads, “Dear Diddy, Help!” As it turns out, this letter is from his friend Timber, whose home has been taken over by an alien tyrant, one who overpowered the genie Taj. An alien wizard pig known only as… Wizpig.
Much like his opponent, Wizpig’s backstory isn’t the most well documented. What we do know is that he got bored one day and decided to conquer his homeworld, y’know as you do. He succeeded, and turned his planet into an amusement park called Future Fun Land. But despite making a literal amusement park, Wizpig once again grew bored, so he decided to travel through space to find some excitement. And after discovering his love for racing, he decided that would be the excitement he was looking for. And now he’s here to race on Earth.
To prove they had what it took to race Wizpig, Diddy Kong and co. would have to race on 16 tracks, challenge the likes of Tricky the Triceratops, Bluey the Walrus, Bubbler the Octopus, and Smokey the Dragon, all of whom had been brainwashed by Wizpig, in order to collect their piece of the Wizpig Amulet. Once they collected them all, the fastest could challenge Wizpig himself to a race. Unfortunately for the alien pig, despite being easily the hardest challenge Diddy and friends have faced on this adventure, they still managed to beat him and send him packing.
But this wouldn’t be the end of Wizpig’s ploy. After his defeat, he transported himself and one of the racers to his home of Future Fun Land, challenging said racer to a rematch. But despite now riding a rocket, Wizpig still couldn’t win the race, and this loss in particular caused his rocket to malfunction and send him flying to the moon, never to be heard from again.
Experience & Skill
Oxide
Oxide claims to be the fastest racer in the galaxy, which is pretty well backed, not only by a rather large trophy room and a set of followers to carry out his will, but by having conquered multiple galaxies and turning them into parking lots, minus the Milky Way of course. Oxide has proven to be a formidable racer to the likes of Crash and Dr. Cortex, being the most difficult challenge in the original Survival of the Fastest.
Wizpig
As stated earlier, Wizpig did not have much in the way of racing experience originally. Rather he picked up the sport for fun along the way of his travels. Despite this, he is a challenge to race against even the best of Taj’s champions, even without using a kart at all in their first encounter.
Game Mechanics
Crash Team Racing
Wumpa Fruit
Much like coins in Mario Kart, Wumpa Fruit can be collected to increase the kart’s top speed, with the racer being able to hold a maximum of 10. But unlike the coins, these can also add a boost to your power ups. Apart from specific power-ups changing properties, these upgrades can range from increased power, better accuracy, or longer speed boosts and invincibility.
Diddy Kong Racing
Balloons and Bananas
When collecting Power-Up Balloons, you can stack multiple of the same variety on top of each other to level up the item, sometimes changing the item into a different weapon altogether. This can extend the power of the item up to three levels of improvement (for example the Missile becoming 10 Missiles). In addition, collecting Bananas will progressively boost the overall racing speed the more you collect.
Equipment
Oxide
Hovercraft
Oxide’s main method of tearing up asphalt, despite not having wheels whatsoever so that phrase actually makes no sense, BUT PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT.
Oxide uses it not only for racing, but also attempted murder. He can and has used it for running you over, and when he does so he activates a short lived barrier, probably because he doesn’t want your blood to ruin his paint job. The Hovercraft can also cause tremors that travel forward towards an opponent, by ramming itself into the ground. Lastly, it can generate and shoot fireballs that travel forward in a very bouncy pattern.
The color and abilities of his Hovercraft go through some changes when he uses his other forms, which we’ll get to later.
Mothership
His own personal spacecraft used to get him across galaxies, via hyperspace jumps. It also seems to house whatever device is used for turning entire planets into smoothly-paved parking lots. He just needs to hop behind his captain’s chair and he’s good to go!
Tracking Missile
A heat-seeking missile that locks onto the racer head of the user. It should be known that this item does not appear in boxes if the racer is in first place. In addition to the power-up, Oxide’s hovercraft has been shown capable of firing missiles on its own. When juiced up, the missiles are more accurate and move faster.
Bowling Bomb
An explosive bomb that travels in a straight line. The user can even detonate it prematurely. When juiced up, the bomb has a bigger blast radius, able to affect three racers at once.
Power Shield
A forcefield that can protect its driver from any oncoming items. The user can even fire the shield as a projectile. The shield only protects from one attack and can also be used to ram into enemies. Normally, a green shield dissipates after a few seconds. But a juiced up blue shield lasts indefinitely.
Explosive Crates
An explosive crate that can be laid onto the track. If an oncoming driver hits it, the crate will attach itself to the driver and detonate in 3 seconds, where the target will have a short period in which they can jump to get it off of them. When juiced up, the TNT crate becomes a Nitro crate, which will explode upon contact with a driver.
N. Brio’s Beaker
One of Dr. N Brio’s sinister concoctions, these potions can be thrown onto the track either forwards or backwards, causing anyone who collided with it to spin out. When juiced up (in this case literally), the standard green beaker becomes a poisonous red beaker, which causes the poor racer to slow down for a few seconds and causes another shuffle to their items should they have one in hand.
Mask
By equipping a Mask mid-race, the user gains increased speed and invulnerability from items or even other racers. The mask is available for 8 seconds upon usage. Comes in Uka Uka flavor, too! When juiced up, the invincibility lasts longer.
Turbo
Want to go faster? Well, with Turbo, you can gain a quick boost of speed! As to be expected, when juiced up, the boost lasts longer and is slightly faster.
N. Tropy Clock
An invention by Dr. N. Tropy, using this device will cause racers around the user to spin out and temporarily slow down, as well as preventing them from using items. The effect lasts longer when juiced up.
Warp Orb
A shockingly powerful orb that homes in on the racer in first place, hitting any other racer that gets caught in its path. When juiced up, the orb targets everyone in front of the user.
Invisibility
This power-up gives the user invisibility, becoming unable to be seen by other racers and be tracked by missiles. The effect lasts longer when juiced up.
Super Engine
Think of this power-up as a combination of Turbo and the Mask, letting the player activate a turbo boost for as long as they are constantly accelerating. At this point we don’t need to tell you the juiced up boost it gets, right?
Ice Mine
By throwing down this item, the Ice Mine will freeze anyone upon contact. When juiced up, obviously the effect lasts longer, but it also removes any sort of traction while frozen.
Static Orb
Another droppable item, this will cause its targets to spin out and randomly shuffle whatever item they’re holding. When juiced up, the electricity turns red, causing it to not only home in on racers that pass by its proximity, but also reverses the controls of the target.
Tornado Top
Similar to the Warp Orb, this miniature tornado will home in on the racer in first place, sucking them up along with anyone else that gets in its path. And in turn, this gets the same juiced up effect the Warp Orb does.
Red Eye Missile
Exclusive to battle arenas, this missile explodes on contact and can either be fired off on its own, or taken control of by the user. The missile is easier to control when juiced up.
Power Shield
Creates a yellow force field of electricity around the player, protecting them from other racer's weapons and some course hazards. It isn't broken by attacks, remaining until its time runs out or the racer falls into a pit. It cannot be launched and doesn't harm racers that bump into a racer using one.
RC Car
A small remote controlled car, resembling Crash. When used it zips ahead to the person in first place and bursts their tyres, slowing them to a crawl for a few seconds. It's most similar to a Warp Orb or a Tornado Top, except for the fact it only affects the racer in first place.
Kart Jacker
This item allows you to "jack" the kart of the racer immediately ahead of you. This swaps your positions on the track, swaps your kart for theirs, and even allows you to take whatever items they may have had at the time.
Airplane Wings
Gives the user's kart wings, allowing them to fly over hazards and pits while also giving them a speed boost for the duration of the power-up. Coco's Track and Star Track feature a barrier that grants this power-up upon going through it, allowing the racers to fly over a body of water. The effect can only be ended prematurely by being hit by a missile.
Hole
Creates a perfectly round cartoon hole in the track behind the player. If a racer falls in, they must be rescued by the robotic mask. Racers with Monster Truck mode active are too big to fall into these holes.
Tyre Spikes
Makes large metal spikes appear, poking out on either side of the user's back wheels. If the user rams into the side of another racer with this active, it bursts their tyres, significantly slowing them down for a few seconds.
Wizpig
Rocket
Despite already being able to fly naturally, this rocket is his choice vehicle when he navigated Future Fun Land and its hazards. Despite being a relatively large rocket, it can actually bob and weave fairly tight through the lasers and caverns of his home planet.
Spaceship
A personal spacecraft that Wizpig can remotely operate, enter via tractor beams, and use to shoot lasers.
Red Balloons
The item balloon that gives the racer missile weapons, with how the types you get depending on how many balloons you pop.
One balloon - Regular missile
Two balloons - Homing missile
Three balloons - Ten missiles
In addition to the Balloon version, Wizpig has carried a Homing Missile on his person for his own use
Blue Balloons
The item balloon that grants speed boosts, which gets stronger with each balloon popped.
Green Balloons
The item balloons that drop weapons behind the racer.
One balloon - Oil spill/ Gas cloud
Two balloons - Land mine
Three balloons - A bubble that traps an opposing racer
Yellow Balloons
The item balloons that grant shields, which gets tougher with each balloon popped.
Rainbow Balloons
A special type of item balloon that grants the use of magnets, with the properties depending on how many balloons are popped.
One balloon - A weak magnet that pulls the user towards a nearby racer
Two balloons - A stronger magnet than before
Three balloons - A powerful magnet that pulls opponents back to the user
Spiked Bombs
Spiked explosives that he carries on his person to lob at his targets. Despite the lack of a fuse, they detonate shortly after being thrown.
Abilities
Oxide
Nothing
Nitros Oxide doesn’t really have any natural abilities of his own…Kinda sad, huh?
Wizpig
Brainwashing
Can take over the minds and cause great aggression in his victims, like he did with Tricky, Bluey, Bubbler, and Smokey.
Flight
Able to fly with ease, typically using it to basically glide forward to avoid hazards along the ground. He can still fly vertically in the air, he just tends to use it more while running and racing.
Ghost Creation
Ghastly illusions of his head that float around. They are mostly just intimidation or distraction, as they don’t have any physical interaction when run into.
Minor Reality Warping
To both invite and intimidate the racers, Wizpig turned the mountainside into…his head. Seemingly alive and animated as well.
Electricity Manipulation
A general lightning-casting spell. He can fire bolts of electricity from his fingertips. He can also cast down lightning bolts from the sky. Speaking of which…
Weather Manipulation
Wizpig can almost immediately create a storm of rain and lightning.
Teleportation
Allows Wizpig to warp away in a flash of light. Does not appear to be instant, as he has to cast the spell, but he is still able to make a swift getaway with it.
Forms
Oxide
Frosty Nitros Oxide
One of three mutagen-based forms that Oxide has access to. His fireballs become ice-balls. No, not snowballs; ice-balls. Oxide’s hovercraft leaves an ice-fire(???) trail behind it.
Inferno Nitros Oxide
Another mutagen-based form that lets him leave normal fire trails behind him, naturally. It also allows his fireballs to travel along the ground instead of bounce… ok.
Oxide Nitros Oxide
Yes, that is the correct name for this form. This mutagen-based form allows Oxide to throw… purple fireballs??? And he leaves behind a trail of purple fla-HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
I’m starting to believe these forms have literally nothing to do with elements at all and are just recolors!!! DOES THAT MEAN HIS ICE FORM ISN'T EVEN USING ICE?!?!
Wizpig
Nothing
Wizpig technically has no forms unlike Nitros Oxide… but to be honest, given the “forms” Oxide has, I don’t think that will hurt him much…
Feats
Oxide
Overall
Beaten countless planets in racing tournaments
Through some method, has turned countless planets into empty parking lots
Power
Comparable in power to Crash Bandicoot, who could fight Crunch while being powered up by the Elementals
The Elementals were responsible for earthquakes capable of shaking the Wumpa Islands (43.84 gigatons - 198.74 teratons) [See Verdicts for more details]
…And were also responsible for the Ice Age (7.3 gigatons) [Credit to Ninten for the calc]
Considered superior to Tiny Tiger, who is able to demolish large columns, call down lightning from the sky, as well as cause shockwaves with just his trident
Speed
Has been stated to race at light-speed at his best
This can be supported by one of his personal hovercrafts seemingly being able to enter Hyperspace for a brief jump
Durability
Can take hits from every item/power-up and only be briefly stunned
Can withstand the toxic atmosphere of Gasmoxia
Survived his own kart exploding with him in it after a battle with Crash
Considered superior to the likes of Ripper Roo, who can survive this
Able to take hits from Crash
Wizpig
Overall
Was able to easily conquer his homeworld to create Future Fun Land
Brainwashed the boss racers on Timber’s Island
Power
Defeated Taj the Genie, then effortlessly ripped apart his magic carpet
Taj was able to create this massive mountain sculpture in his likeness with little effort, replacing the previous carving in the shape of Wizpig’s head
Unlike the other power ups in DKR, his on-hand bombs were actually able to damage and bring down enemy vehicles
Created a large thunderstorm that enveloped Wizpig’s First Strike, the racetrack you first race against him on (4.12 gigatons)
In the manga, he claimed he can and has destroyed planets before arriving at Timber’s Island
In the Diddy Kong Racing manual, it also mentions Wizpig hopping from planet to planet causing destruction, which supports this claim
Speed
Tied with Taj the Genie for the best top speed among his chosen racers
Flew in his spaceship from Earth to Future Fun Land in a short timespan (1533.5c)
Runs faster than most of the Diddy Kong Racing cast normally drives in any of their vehicles
Once managed to tag both Peach and Mario with one of his bombs, sending them crashing to the ground
Durability
Hovercraft kart is tough enough to operate on lava
Completely unphased when barreling clean through a massive stone cliff face
Is only slowed down by various offensive items used on him that do much more visible harm to the likes of Diddy Kong, Banjo, and Conker
Survived the explosion of his rocket when crash landing into a nearby planet (453 gigatons)
Weaknesses
Oxide
Even the devs behind Crash Team Racing don’t like him. Bro comes home to an empty house and an emptier heart. Racing is literally all this guy has in his life and you took it from him.
He is also an incredibly sore loser for someone who blatantly cheats in every race.
Wizpig
Wizpig is incredibly fucking ugly. His nails are dark yellow and his more high quality renders show an astounding amount of vascularity in his face, probably both from the adrenaline of trying to physically outrun a car, and lots of seething from the fat L’s he’s given.
His acceleration stat is also among the lowest in the roster of the DS game, despite having the best top speed.
Verdicts
Stats
Normally when you get to the stats section of the verdict you expect to see strength and durability come up first, but these two are racers above all else, and they’d much sooner challenge each other to a race than a fight to the death, so I think it’s more on theme to talk about speed first. With that being said… Wizpig blitzes, and it’s not even close. Wizpig being able to fly home to Future Fun Land after his first boss battle in a short time span, puts him well into the MFTL+ range. Even with the string bean alien’s lightspeed statement, he’d still be over 1500 times slower than our coked up Porky Pig.
Something tells me Oxide won’t be too happy about that…Maybe that’s where the fight to the death comes in?
Which brings us to strength and durability, which is admittedly more tricky. Wizpig of course scales to Diddy Kong, Banjo, and Conker, but none of them at the time had a feat as good as his own of crash landing into some planet and surviving, which yielded 453 gigatons of TNT. On the other hand, Oxide’s best feat comes when you scale him to Crash, particularly the feat in Wrath of Cortex where one of the Elementals causes an earthquake that could be felt on the outskirts of the Wumpa Islands.
…One major issue, however. We don’t know the full area of effect of the earthquake, and as a result, there is a massive disparity between the low-end result of the feat, and the high-end result. The low-end, which assumes that the earthquake only impacted one of the Wumpa Islands that Crash is on, gets to about 43 gigatons of TNT. Significantly lower than Wizpig of course. However, the high end that assumes the earthquake affected all of the Wumpa Islands gets to about…almost 199 teratons?!?! So how do we go about dealing with this potential stomp for either side coming down to a single feat???
Well, that’s honestly mostly up to personal interpretation, but you can also make an educated guess based on context. For example, the Wumpa Islands are made up of three main islands, but Crash only normally inhabits one, while the other two are inhabited by the Tribesmen and Neo Cortex respectively. It’s unlikely Cortex would want to subject his own fortress to the earthquake, and he has no personal qualms with the Tribe to want to harm them anyway, especially since they don’t like Crash very much either. That gives them reason to have targeted one specific island out of the three. Plus, Cortex does specifically say he’s going to use all the Elementals to power up a super weapon that can “crush mountains and destroy entire cities”, which lines up with the lower-end interpretation as well. For those reasons, we’ve unanimously decided on the weaker result.
Additionally, there is a minor, teensy weensie caveat to Nitros Oxide scaling to Crash Bandicoot. While he absolutely scales to Crash in AP via his items… he scales through items only obtainable from his vehicles. Outside of his vehicle, it’s kind of hard to believe Oxide would scale to Crash physically, because he has no showings for that. He’d still have the same durability though, I suppose.
Lastly, there are planetary arguments for both characters due to them having turned planets into parking lots and theme parks, but both are incredibly shaky due to a lack of context on how the planets were changed and timeframe. Even if you were to give it to both of them, they’d just be even in strength while Wizpig still blitzes.
To end the subject of stats, save for a very generous interpretation of a feat, Wizpig should dominate.
Arsenal & Abilities
Now as you can imagine reading through this, Oxide has a very solid advantage in raw arsenal. Wizpig’s power-ups are impressive, sure, but most of them are just more powerful versions of each other. Apart from that, he’s got speed boosts, projectiles, trap power-ups, shields, and magnets that can pull him towards nearby racers. That’s just about it. It doesn’t help that Oxide has all that and more. A time-slowing clock, power-ups that targets the racer in first place, invincibility, explosives, invisibility, and so much more. It’s no surprise that while racing, Oxide has much more to throw at Wizpig than the other way around.
Unfortunately for the Gasmoxian, what Wizpig lacks in equipment, he makes up for in abilities. Oxide outside of his kart has next to no abilities meant for combat. Wizpig, meanwhile, could brainwash Oxide into working for him, fly around Oxide for more arena control, or just zap Oxide with electricity. Oxide does have his different elemental forms that could make up for this, but it’s incredibly unclear how he even accesses them in the first place.
Simply put, Oxide has the edge in arsenal, but Wizpig has the edge in abilities.
Tertiary Factors
This is one of the more unique things about this matchup, as neither are exactly known for typical combat, but rather wacky racing. That being said, Oxide has far more experience in being an actual racer, as was shown in the comic of all the trophies he got from each of the races he won. However, we can assume he cheated in those as he did in the game like the piece of crap he is, like boosting before the light turns green (have no idea how he gets away with that) and his item spam without needing to hit a box for that.
While Wizpig has been stated to have conquered and destroyed planets, we don’t exactly know how he went about that, or in this case, how many he has conquered. That being said, Wizpig, despite not being a scumbag and cheating, has a few more tricks up his sleeve that’ll be more important in a combat scenario. For starters, he can still race even when knocked from his rocket, and given the massive speed edge he has, that could be bad for Oxide. Hell, he can still fly without his rocket, meaning he really isn’t losing much if Oxide somehow takes him off his vehicle.
When it comes to actual combat experience, Wizpig has Oxide beat as well. His victories over Taj the Genie and being able to tag Peach and Mario outdoes any and all of Oxide’s combat feats, who unfortunately doesn’t have the same luck when it comes to… well, actually winning anything that isn’t a race. It also doesn’t help that unlike Wizpig, Oxide’s practically a sitting duck without his vehicle, so getting separated from his Hovercart can prove to be REALLY disastrous for the Gasmoxian. Hell, that rocket Wizpig has isn’t the only vehicle he has, as he also has a UFO which, given he can control it remotely, can be a massive distraction towards Oxide and leave him open to getting his Hovercart destroyed.
In short, while Oxide’s definitely a better racer, his cheats and experience can’t exactly get him that far when Wizpig’s tertiary factors are much more useful when it comes to actual combat.
Conclusion
“So, you pesky Earth slugs like to race, eh? Heheheheh! Well I, Nitros Oxide, am the fastest racer in the galaxy!”
Advantages:
Potentially far stronger
Better experience in racing
Wider assortment of power-ups
Technically has forms to turn into while Wizpig does not…
Will absolutely get a headstart in a race (because he cheats)
Disadvantages:
Much slower
Incredibly limited offensive options via his hovercraft once his power-ups are depleted
Completely useless outside of his vehicle
Less experience in combat
Sore loser
But those forms are a fucking joke…
90s racing game rubberbanding…
"Well, lookie here! It’s the little worm!"
Advantages:
Potentially far stronger and more durable
Significantly faster
More combat experience
Does not need a vehicle to race or fight
His UFO allows for better area control, since it can be operated remotely
Has a multitude of natural abilities at his disposal when his power-ups are depleted, unlike Oxide
Is a much more imposing villain
Disadvantages:
Less racing experience
Less variety in power ups, and a significantly smaller amount of them
Sore loser
No, seriously, FUCK RUBBERBANDING
This was truly a fascinating matchup. At first glance, you might think Oxide would have a pretty sizable advantage, with his wide array of items and more experience in actual racing. But at the end of the day, Wizpig was the one who had the advantage.
Wizpig surviving his rocket crashing into the moon is over 10x more impressive than the most reasonable end of Oxide scaling to Rok-Ko’s earthquake, and flying to his spaceship at over 1500 times light speed makes him thousands of times faster, even taking Oxide’s lightspeed statement literally. Combine that with Wizpig’s wider array of physical abilities that all provide plenty of wincons outside of his rocket compared to Oxide having no options outside of his kart, and there’s not really much Oxide can do.
Even if Oxide manages to take out Wizpig’s rocket, Wizpig is just as fast if not faster on foot, and his brainwashing, teleporting, and electricity gives him everything he needs. Oxide was a skilled racer and had the power-ups to keep Wizpig on his toes, but Wizpig’s superior power, speed, and abilities spelled the end for the Gasmoxian.
Final Tally
Team Oxide (1) - Brobuscus (pity vote)
Team Wizpig (3) -Toppat Torchwick, beelake, RadioactiveCaffeine
Where is my fucking brainiac vs ultron
ReplyDeleteStill waiting for brainic vs Ultron
ReplyDeleteI kinda had a feeling my man would get shitstomped. I was hoping Oxide would have some FTL stuff regarding him flying around in a spaceship. Still, this matchup is really creative, and I'd kill for it to become an actual ep.
ReplyDeleteSee you guys on Saturday.
Daily reminder hulk beats broly
DeleteDaily reminder that hulk and broly are in a happy loving relationship and have an adopted daughter named Samantha
DeleteAnd hulk beats him during sex
DeleteAs soon as I saw this, I already knew their connections. I figured Wizpig would win but this might be fun to watch.
ReplyDeleteI came in thinking Oxide might at least have an advantage in speed, but nope, man got almost nothing. Happy the GOAT Wizpig won, but you guys really did just send intergalactic Chicks Hicks to die, huh. At least this loss isn't as embarrassing as losing to a scatterbrained bandicoot in a race.
ReplyDeleteThough, that does make me wonder what kind of modifications Oxide would make to his hovercraft if he knew how stupid fast Wizpig was. That's a conversation for another time and place, though.
He is a just fucking pig don't calling the goat lol
Delete